Page 66 of Top Shelf

Very, very good.

She knew what she was doing. Enough that I slept badly and woke hard and angry with myself, rereading it again while I stroked myself and wondered what her voice would sound like naked and praising me.

And now she’s on the other side of the wall, making herself come so hard I can hear her breathing, while my body remembers every place she’s put her hands on me.

I should leave. That is my first thought, and it would be the correct one, except when I step back, my gaze catches on the dresser.

One of Heidi’s suitcases is open there. A smaller unzipped case sits inside it, with the contents exposed in the careless aftermath of someone rummaging fast and not expecting her husband home early. I see enough before I look away. Smooth silicone and a small suction toy. A harness strap and dark silk rope coiled neatly against the lining.

I swallow hard and look at the wall instead, which is worse, because now I can still hear her moans and the rain of the shower, and see the coil of rope in my head.

This marriage is going to fucking kill me.

When Heidi comes out fifteen minutes later wrapped in a towel, I am standing near the wardrobe with my back partly turned, pretending my tie options require deep thought.

“Oh.” She stops in the doorway. “You’re back.”

“Yes.”

“I thought you’d be later.”

Her eyes flick toward the ensuite, then to the dresser, and the color that rises up her throat tells me she has realized what I’ve seen and heard.

Neither of us speaks until she pulls her towel tighter against her chest and lifts her chin, because she is Heidi, and embarrassment only makes her bolder. “Well. This is incredibly mortifying.”

My mouth curves. “It appears you missed me, yes?”

Her eyes snap to mine. “If you’d kissed me in the garage when I told you I was horny, maybe I wouldn’t have spent the last four nights trying to un-hornify myself with an array of toys.”

I mean to laugh, but I can’t because her acknowledging her toys and horniness is in relation to me specifically has spiked my blood pressure.

“You could have found someone else to help you,” I say carefully, my gaze dropping to her mouth. “If you wanted.”

Her expression shifts. “I know that.”

“I would not have stopped you. We agreed tha—”

“I know that too.” She takes a step closer, still pink from the shower and not hiding nearly as much as either of us needs her to be. “But I didn’t want to.”

“No?”

“No.” Her fingers tighten once at the top of the towel. “I don’t want a hookup or some random person touching me while I’m thinking about you.”

I stare at her, the words sparking to life in my body. She looks toward the open case on the dresser, and pink creeps higher up her neck.

“Which brings me back to the colorful collection of fun stuff present in the room.”

“I did not look through them.”

“I believe you,” she says with a shrug. “But you would’ve seen enough anyway.”

She looks embarrassed, but not ashamed. There is a difference, and I know Heidi doesn’t shrink from wanting what she wants, but she still seems unsettled.

Her throat bobs. “Did you miss me?”

My eyes move to hers. “Yes.”

Every single fucking night.