Page 178 of Top Shelf

My eyes burn. “I know. And they saw you.”

He takes a step toward me, and I take one back.

“Heidi.”

“My entire interview changed.” I point vaguely toward the world outside the apartment. “They came to talk to Dr. Heidi Grant, and ten minutes in, they were asking me about your recovery and your role and whether your profile helped. Pulse wants to discuss revised positioning and investors are calling me about how we should capitalize on the Viktor angle.”

He flinches at that. Good.

No, not good. I don’t want to hurt him, that’s the awful thing. I want to put my hands on him and shake him and cry into his chest. I want to go back to this morning, before his loving decision became a room I had to fight my way out of.

“And on the drive home, Zoe called.” My voice tembles. “She told me a reporter contacted my parents.”

His face drops.

“They didn’t call me.” My laugh catches somewhere high and brittle. “Of course they didn’t call me. They spoke to the press instead.”

“Heidi…”

Tears brim before I can stop them, and I hate that. I hate how fast this particular wound still opens.

“They had so many lovely things to say about you.” My lip trembles, and I press it between my teeth before continuing. “How good you are for me and how happy they are that I’ve finally settled. How you ground me.”

Viktor shakes his head, but I hold up my hand.

“They said they were surprised we married so quickly, but apparently they’ve come around now because you’re such a good man and I’m so much happier with you.”

“Heidi, I didn’t mean t—”

“And do you know what the worst part is?” My voice breaks. “They probably think they were being kind. They’ve spent my whole life deciding which parts of me count and which ones need explaining away. ADHD was me being difficult, and being bisexual was just a phase. Every choice they didn’t understand became something I would eventually grow out of. And now they get to tell strangers that marrying you fixed my story.”

Viktor looks wrecked. “That is not what this is.”

“I know.” My jaw clenches as I nod fast. “I know that—but they don’t. And now that’s the story everybody else gets.”

“I wanted to help,” he says, voice rough. “For everyone to see how amazing you are.”

“They can’t see me at all when I’m standing in your light.”

Silence drops between us, and his eyes close. I look away first because if I watch his face too long, my anger will start making room for how much this hurts him, and I cannot afford to soften before he understands.

“I can’t be seen as your wife before I’m allowed to be seen as myself.”

His eyes open.

“That is not what I wanted, Heidi.”

“I know.” Tears fall hot and furious down my cheeks. “I know you didn’t mean to take anything from me, Viktor. But meaning well doesn’t give it back.”

He goes to take a step, and stops. “Tell me how to fix it. I will speak to them. I will correct it.”

“No.” The word comes out fast. “No more speaking for me or the studio. God, I even put it in our contract, Viktor! I have a studio to open and a launch to pull back under my own name, and I need to do that without everyone waiting for Viktor Karlsson’s next statement.”

The hurt in his eyes nearly undoes me.

“I love you,” he says quietly, and my chest breaks around it.

“I love you too,” I whisper. “That’s why this hurts so much.”