Page 41 of Entangled With You

I shook my head.

“In the arena, when I was fightin’, was the only time I had the sky above me, the sun on my face, the air. Twas hard tae have the one, the battle, the near death, tae get tae the other, the open sky.”

He brought his other hand to clasp it around mine. “Her presence was the same, I had tae put up with it tae get tae the freedom she promised me. She arrived one night as a gift from Donnan and we were locked in together. There was only one bed, mo reul-iuil, but in the beginnin’ she kept tae herself. So I let down my guard. I kent she was a prisoner too and I kent that made her dangerous, but I was desperate about havin’ tae give ye up and I dinna guard against her well enough. I slept beside her, yes.”

“What was, I mean, is her name? You aren’t saying it...”

“Her name is Bella.”

“Is she beautiful?”

He took a deep breath. “Yes. But she wasna... I daena ken how tae describe it — I dinna like her, she wasna the same as⁠—”

“I really don’t want you to compare us, Magnus. I understand. But I need more. Donnan saw you together?”

“Bella had a way of sayin’ and doin’ things that made it seem as if I belonged tae her.”

“Like what?”

“She called me, ‘My Magnus,’ and would touch me in a way tae show tae Donnan that we were together. Though we werna.”

“Did she know about me, that you were married?”

“She asked about ye and I told her the truth of it, that I was married and I wouldna be hers.” He ran a hand through his hair and seemed upset. He let go of my hand and reached in the donut box for another donut. He ate half of it in a bite and put the other half back, wiped his hands on a napkin and took a drink of coffee.

“What did she say?”

“She told me ye were dead. She said it again and again.”

I took a deep breath and nodded.

“So tell me about when it happened.”

“Twas the night before Donnan’s Gala, she told me she wanted tae be with me and when I reminded her I couldna she refused tae listen tae me on it. She threatened tae tell Donnan about our plan tae overthrow him. Donnan kent where you lived, I told her that Donnan would kill ye tae get back at me and it—” He shook his head, staring out over the sand dunes to the ocean. “Do ye want me tae keep tellin’ it?”

“Yeah.”

“She was pushin’ me tae bed her. Twas all verra confusin’, she said ye were dead, but I also kent that Donnan would kill ye — twas hard tae worry about those two things at one time. Tae mourn ye and feel desperate tae protect ye, and both of them filled my head so that I couldna think straight, and she was taking off my clothes and — that’s when I took her tae my bed. Twas only once. I ken it daena excuse it but I want ye tae ken, twas only once. When Lady Mairead called her my mistress twas nae the truth of it.”

I clasped my hand tighter around his. “I knew that wasn’t the truth of it. Thank you for telling me all about what was true.”

He nodded.

I pulled his hand into my lap wrapped in both of mine. “So you have a son.” My next breath caught in my chest three full times while I gasped in enough air to swallow down the tears that wanted to come. “I wanted to be the one who did that for you.”

His face broke, tears pooled in his lower lid. “I ken ye did, Kaitlyn. I ken it.” His head bowed and I pulled his arm and his shoulder and his head to my chest and held onto it. I pressed my cheek into his hair and held him while his shoulders shook from the grief of it. It took a long time of holding him. A breeze ruffled my hair. The wind was calming as the morning sun brightened and warmed on our deck.

Slowly he raised his head and I pressed my tear-covered cheeks to his and we kissed long and sweet and sad. His breath on my skin, my fingers on the pulse of his neck. And slowly he pulled away, we passed a cloth napkin back and forth between us for our tears, and returned to clasping each other’s hands, watching the dunes and the ocean beyond.

“So I will be a king then, or die trying?”

“Please don’t die.”

He took a deep breath. “It canna have been easy for ye tae hear all that Lady Mairead said and make the decision ye made...”

“It was easier for me than it would have been for you. It's the kind of man you are. You are bound with honor. And Lady Mairead and — others, they are trying to destroy that part of you, to what — make you decide between me and someone else that deserves your protection? Your child? I won’t ever make you choose like that. I won’t.” My lower lip trembled. “Because I’m safe for you.”

“You mean tae be my protection, Kaitlyn?”