Page 96 of Paging Dr. VanRyan

He didn’t meet my eyes. “You want another coffee?” he asked, beginning to get up.

“No. I want you to answer a question.”

He swallowed, now looking a little nervous. It wasn’t a look I was used to seeing on my father.

“Maddy told me her loan was paid off with a private scholarship. She thought I’d arranged it, but it wasn’t me. She tried to find out how but couldn’t. Was that you?”

He opened his mouth. Shut it. Opened it again. Then he shrugged. “Yeah, I did.”

“Why? How?” I sputtered.

He sighed and set down his cup, running a hand through his hair. “The how was easy. I got Reid, the wonder boy, to do some digging and get her student loan information. We set up the scholarship as a designated gift to her. I had the amount wired in from a numbered business account Maddox has set up for me.”

I shook my head. “I should have known you had the BAM boys involved,” I muttered. “And the why?”

He lifted one shoulder. “You’re my son. I knew you were still in love with her. You’ve been avoiding life, your family, everything since you left her. Running around doing the volunteer missions instead of spending time with the people who love you. I hoped if she didn’t have to stay in Toronto and came back here, you’d have a chance.”

“So you did it for love?” I asked, confused. Dad was generous, but that seemed excessive.

He met my gaze, his tone low and serious. “I did it for you. I wanted my son back.”

“Dad—”

He held up his hand. “The only time you came to see us this past year was when you came to meet Ashley.”

“I’ve been busy with⁠—”

“Avoiding us. Avoiding life. Mom missed you. Worried about you constantly. Your sisters missed you—especially Gracie.” He smiled. “I know you kept in touch with texts and emails, the Zoom calls, but it’s not the same, Matthew. I missed you, and I wanted you happy. I had never seen you as happy as when you were with her.”

“What if it hadn’t worked?”

“Then I helped someone you cared about. End of story. I would have never said a thing.”

I blew out a long breath. “Sorry, Dad. I didn’t think about anyone but me. I hated being here because it reminded me of her. I missed her so much. And the missions gave me a sense of purpose I had lost.”

“Have you found it again?”

“I think so.” I paused. “I really love her, Dad.”

“And she loves you?”

“She’s scared, but yes.”

“Then show her there is nothing to be scared of. Be the man you need to be for her. Be the brother and the son you have always been. Stop running, Matthew.” His voice broke. “Don’t stay away from us and put yourself in jeopardy again. We—I can’t lose you. Don’t ask me to bear that.”

I was stunned at his words. “I won’t. I promise.”

He cleared his throat and stood. “Okay. I’m getting more coffee.”

He strode away and I sighed, rubbing my eyes. I hadn’t meant to hurt my family. I wasn’t even aware I was doing it. And although I hadn’t gone looking to get ill, I’d known there were risks to doing what I was doing. Treating sick people without proper medical procedures, supplies, or protection, yet I chose to do so.

I would be smarter about it. I had to be if I wanted to be part of more volunteer operations. They were important to me, but I had to make sure there was a balance.

Especially now.

I groaned as I realized I would have to tell Maddy I knew who’d paid off her loans.

She was going to freak.