Page 70 of Don’t Look Back

“Jason… Are you sure?”

Ryan wore every bit of his broken heart on his face, but his chest heaved with each breath. Goosebump-covered skin flushed all the way down his chest with arousal, and I couldn’t help but size up the outline of his erection beneath his pants.

He wanted to do this.

I wanted to do this.

I needed to do this.

I nodded, sending my own shirt fluttering to the floor. “Give me everything, Ryan.” I took a step towards him. “I want all of it—with you. Do you want me?”

A shuddering sigh, and Ryan closed the distance between us. “Yes, Jason. I want you so bad it hurts. But I also want you to be ready.”

“I am. I’m ready. So if you want me, take me. Now. This will be the last time you’re going to ask me if I’m sure.” Threading my fingers through his hair, I clenched a tight fist and tugged, pulling a gasp right out of him. I was choking on my words at that point. “Take what you want, Ryan.”

I swallowed whatever he was going to say by sweeping him into a bruising kiss. Words faded into a guttural groan. Hands on my hips, Ryan brought us flush together. I catalogued every touch, every sound. I never wanted to forget how his body felt against mine or the sweet little whimpers he fed me when I pulled his hair.

His fingertips danced over my skin, making each individual hair on my body stand on end. Every inhale he took expanded his chest, bringing him even closer to me. And when he held his breath, his heartbeat thumped against my chest. When he tried to pull back, I held him close by a hand on his back.

“Slow,” I whispered, breaking off the kiss. “Take it slow. I want to remember everything.”

Ryan said nothing, wet eyelashes brushing my cheeks. He simply nodded, slowly, tenderly pressing his lips to mine. His tongue darted out, briefly licking across my mouth before retreating again.

Pants came off, underwear hit the floor. We eased toward the bed at an agonizingly slow pace. I could sense Ryan’s hesitation, but I urged him on. I was ready. I wanted his body on mine, wanted to be so tangled up in each other that I wouldn’t be able to tell where he ended and I began.

The moment I moved to lie on my stomach, he placed a hand under my hip and flipped me onto my back. “I’m not doing this if I can’t look at you,” he explained in a soft, sweet voice. “Lie just like that for me, amor.”

“For me.” I’d do anything for him. “Will it work this way?”

Ryan nodded and retrieved supplies from the nightstand, crawling onto the bed between my spread thighs. “Can you trust me?”

“I trust you with my life.”

Ryan’s breath hitched, a lone tear trailing down his cheek. “You have got to stop saying things like that.”

I leaned in to meet him halfway, his lips taking mine as he gently lowered me to the pillows. “You let me know if I hurt you, okay?”

I nodded, and Ryan went to work. I closed my eyes and basked in the sensation of his lips on every naked inch of skin I possessed.

I was going to miss everything about this man.

My body arched toward his hot, wet mouth as my emotions got the better of me. Sobs bubbled through my chest and silent tears poured from my eyes despite my protests. Starting with his fingers, Ryan prepped me, trying to stifle his sniffles, but I heard them in his voice when he spoke. “I need you to breathe for this part, baby,” he said, the wide head of his cock notching against my entrance. “Just relax.”

Starting at the top of my head, I took a deep breath and relaxed every muscle in my body. Unfortunately, that meant more tears puddled onto the pillow under my head. I opened my eyes and peered down my body at Ryan, who was waiting for the signal to keep going.

With a slight nod, I closed my eyes again.

Ryan pushed through, and the delicious burn momentarily distracted me from my emotional distress.

“Are you okay?” he asked.

I kept my eyes shut, breathing until the discomfort faded away.

Stop crying… stop crying… stop crying.

“Jason…”

“I’m fine,” I forced out on a breath. “Don’t stop.”