Page 89 of Knocked Sideways

So Jed tried not to worry. He told himself that Remy was exhausted by the grind of his first full NHL season, not to mention he was probably still worried about his options once the season ended. Jed knew that even if he told Remy that he’d seen this before, that there was no doubt that Colorado would re-sign him and that other teams would want to make him offers, too, Remy wouldn’t believe he’d proven himself yet. Jed didn’t want to put more pressure on Remy by talking about where they stood or what the future might hold.

After all, Remy was still giving him that slow, sweet, sleepy smile when he woke up in the morning. He was getting up with Jed every day and joining Jed in the gym like maybe he didn’t want to let Jed out of his sight for too long. And he was still affectionate when he could be. He sat too close in the locker room, sometimes, bumping his thigh against Jed’s or leaning against him in a way that Jed thought he might not be conscious of. Remy’s game day suits had somehow ended up hanging in Jed’s closet, and his toiletries were in Jed’s bathroom, instead of the one down the hall.

Nothing about Remy’s actions, except the way he rarely pushed for more than kisses, said he was getting tired of Jed, and Jed didn’t need Hal or anyone else to point out how stupid it would be for him to let self-doubt torpedo the best thing that had ever happened to him.

Jed still would have driven himself crazy if he’d had time to think much about anything other than hockey, but he didn’t. The whole team had kicked it up a gear. Colorado hadn’t made the playoffs for several years, and Hal wanted it. Badly. This was his tenth year in the NHL, and everyone knew that “win the Cup” was the only professional accomplishment he hadn’t checked off his mental list. The rest of the team wanted it just as badly, for their captain and for themselves.

More importantly, as far as Jed was concerned, Remy hit his stride, consistently playing with that combination of focus and determination and grace and sheer heart that captured Jed’s attention four years earlier. It was enough to get him back onto the first penalty kill team. However the season ended, Remy’s record was going to be pretty impressive. He might not be a contender for any awards, but he was solidly establishing himself as a top-four d-man.

“You’ve been good for Lads,” Hal said during a break in practice one day. They were back at home, with four games left until the regular season ended. The top spot in the division was still up for grabs. Colorado needed to win at least two of the last four to beat Chicago out, and practice was tougher than usual.

Jed was standing off to the side of the ice, taking a break and letting Martin have a turn in the net while the rest of the team ran through shooting drills. Truth be told, he was mostly studying Remy, admiring the way he made the drills look easy.

“You think?” Jed asked, pulling his eyes away from Remy long enough to frown in Hal’s direction. “I think it’s all him.”

“He’s talented. Very talented. And his skating fundamentals are excellent. But you know it’s all mental at this point, Jed. Staying focused on the details, not spinning out. That’s where you’re good for him.”

“Maybe.” Jed liked hearing it, undoubtedly more than he should. He wanted to be good for Remy in every possible way. But he wasn’t going to think about that.

“Well, I’m not going to jinx anything.” Hal sounded tired, and Jed looked at him more carefully. Maybe he hadn’t been pulling his weight, helping out with the rest of the team. “There are a lot of variables here that aren’t in our favor. I don’t love how Dorsey’s pretending his knee isn’t giving out. And I think Kos might have broken a rib last night. You see how he was skating today?”

“I did, yeah. You want me to talk to him?”

“No, I’ll do it. I didn’t come over here to tell you that you need to do more. I came over to tell you that I like seeing Lads like this. And I like seeing you like this. He’s good for you, too.”

“I thought you weren’t going to jinx anything,” Jed grumbled, and Hal rolled his eyes and gave Jed one of his over-the-top shoulder squeezes before skating off to coax Kos into being honest with the medical staff.

Remy came over then, done with the drill, hair damp against his neck and face flushed.

“Hey.” He grinned at Jed, and Jed’s mouth twitched back against his will. “Marty’s getting harder to score on. But I’d rather be shooting against you.”

“Why’s that?”

“You need to ask?” Remy gave him that look, up through his lashes, the one Jed hadn’t seen in a few days, and Jed lost his breath for a moment.

I love you, Jed thought. Almost said it out loud right there on the ice, in the middle of practice with their teammates all around them. He turned the words over in his head, not trusting them at first, but yeah. They felt right. He wasn’t sure he’d ever say them. He was thinking them, though. He was in love with Remy.

He couldn’t go distracting Remy now. He’d think about telling him someday soon. After they won two more games. After the playoffs.

It came down to the last regular-season game, but Colorado clinched the top spot in the division.

“Party tonight!” Petey shouted as soon as he entered the locker room after the game. “We did it, boys. First round at home! We need to celebrate!”

“Hey,” Hal said, following behind him. “This is important, listen up. I’m proud of you all. But this is the first step. It gets harder from here. Save the big celebration for later. Get some rest, enjoy a day off tomorrow, but don’t lose your focus now.”

“Cap!” Petey was undaunted. “A party will help us keep our focus.”

“Pushing it, dude,” Jake said, so quietly that only Petey and Remy and Jed could hear. Remy laughed, eyes still bright with excitement over the win.

“I’ll make you a deal, Moreau,” Hal said. “If we win the first round, you can celebrate with a reasonable number of drinks on me. As long as you go home tonight and get some rest over the next few days so that we’re ready to take down Dallas.”

“Take the win, bro,” Jake muttered, and Remy laughed again. Jed wanted to kiss him. He didn’t.

“Alright! Drinks on Cap after we take the first round!” Petey hollered, heeding Jake’s advice. “Let’s cool down and get some rest, boys, you heard him!”

“I’m glad Hal stepped in,” Remy whispered to Jed as they started to shed their gear. “I didn’t want to go out tonight.”

“No?”