Page 76 of Knocked Sideways

He typed out, You too xx, and stared at it for a minute.

He’d never sent a text like that before. It felt big, which was funny, given everything he’d done with Jed in the last week. If Lily were looking over his shoulder, she’d probably have an uncomfortable point to make about what it meant when it was harder to send a text message barely hinting he might have feelings than to let Jed do whatever he wanted with his body.

Fuck it. If Jed thought that was too much, he’d deal with it. The text said what he wanted to say to Jed, if he couldn’t be sitting next to him or, better yet, lying next to him in their—Jed’s—bed. So he hit Send and put his phone away so he couldn’t overthink it, and actually fell asleep for the rest of the flight home.

CHAPTER TWENTY-FOUR

JED

March 6

It was a relief to be back in Colorado again, to fall back into a routine with Remy. Jed had psyched himself out over that text exchange on the plane, wondering if it would change things or if Remy would want to talk about it. But Remy couldn’t know that Jed had never put an “x” next to a text before. He was probably used to that kind of thing.

Also, they were in the part of the season now where each day went by faster than the last. No matter how many rest days Coach tried to give him, Jed’s body wasn’t going to stop hurting until the season was over. Back when he first started in the NHL, he could make it until the playoffs before he started really noticing it. Now he felt lucky to make it to the beginning of March.

At least his experience helped with the mental piece. Remy was holding up better physically, but mentally, he seemed exhausted. It wasn’t the time for a relationship talk of any kind.

They came back from their road trip to a six-game, ten-day homestand. Jed would be content with having Remy to himself again—seeing his sleepy, shy smile in the morning and watching him wake up over his first cup of coffee. Serving as his pillow on the couch at night and letting Remy distract him from whatever thriller he was trying to read, with updates from Lily or Petey—who Jed couldn’t think of as “Moreau” anymore—or Petey’s brother Levi, who Remy seemed to text with pretty frequently, too.

Having Remy back in his bed each night also satisfied him on a level he hadn’t anticipated. He’d felt Remy’s absence on the road trip, of course. Had thought about Remy every night as he tried to fall asleep. But he’d also told himself that he enjoyed having room to spread out and that it was probably harder for Remy because Remy would be missing the sex.

Yeah, that was all a fucking lie. The first night he had Remy cuddled up next to him in bed again was the first night he could take a deep breath since they’d left.

Jed wasn’t sure how long Remy was going to want this, especially when he’d been too tired to do anything but fall asleep with Remy nestled into his side the last few nights. But he’d take it for as long as he could.

To Jed’s surprise, no one had said anything to him or Remy on the road trip, even though he felt like he was wearing a flashing neon sign advertising that he’d officially lost it over his rookie. Bakesy gave them a few extra looks, and Jed was sure that Hal picked up on it immediately, but he didn’t comment until morning skate the day of their second game back.

“Ready to admit yet that I was right about the heart eyes?” Hal asked as they left the ice together, last off as usual.

“I still don’t know about heart eyes.” Lust eyes might be more like it, at least as far as Remy was concerned. No one had ever shown they wanted him like Remy did. Or maybe it was that most people didn’t want like Remy did, falling apart at the slightest touch.

Heart eyes was something different, though.

“I know what I’m talking about, Jed.” Hal spoke with a certainty Jed wished he felt even a fraction of. “You are head over heels over our new d-man. Am I correct?”

“You’re full of it, is what you are.” Jed tightened up reflexively, but obviously, Hal was right.

“And Remy only has eyes for you, my friend. Whatever you’re doing, keep it up. He’s had four points in the last four games, and you’re not playing so bad, either.” Hal skated away before Jed could protest.

The last part was true. Jed started off the homestand with a shutout against New Jersey, and Remy had a goal and three assists in the last four games. Those were really nice numbers. If Remy kept it up, he’d have at least a few options at the end of the season.

If he wanted to stay in Colorado, he’d be able to do that.

And if he wanted to move back closer to Montreal, he’d probably be able to do that, too.

Jed couldn’t think about the end of the season, though, because he had no control over what Remy chose, and he’d fuck up his game completely if he started worrying about it. So he didn’t say anything more to Hal, and he didn’t say anything to Remy. He focused on his breathing and kept his eye on the puck and lived in the moment.

Or whatever the hell it meant when each moment felt like it was borrowed from someone else’s life, a mistake that someone somewhere would notice and fix any day now, leaving Jed back where he started—alone in his house on the side of a mountain. Which was what he’d always wanted, until now.

They had a real day off before the Blizzards left on their next road trip, a four-game swing through Canada, ending in Montreal. Jed had overheard Remy making plans with Lily to come to one or two of their games, and knew Remy was going to meet up with Levi Moreau in Ottawa, too. He thought he was probably invited, the way Remy casually asked about whether the restaurant they chose sounded good, but he wasn’t sure.

To Jed’s relief, the day off seemed to be a cue for Remy to ask for physical affection. Lots of it, starting with a sleepy request for sex when Jed tried to get out of bed at his usual time that morning.

“Stay a little more.” Remy threw a heavy arm over his chest. “Wanna make out.”

“Is that what you’re calling it now.”

“Mmmhmm.” The rest of Remy followed his arm, so that he ended up half on top of Jed with his face buried in Jed’s shoulder.