Page 66 of Knocked Sideways

“I don’t.”

“Okay. Then I’m gonna grab a shower, too. Won’t take long.”

“Sounds good.” Remy imagined following Jed into the bathroom so that Jed could peel off his clothes and guide him into a hot shower, following close behind and crowding him up against the cool tiles of the shower wall. Maybe Jed would rut up against him, rubbing his thick cock in Remy’s crease. Show Remy how hard he was, how much he wanted him.

Yeah, he needed a cold shower ASAP, because Jed was already walking down the hall alone. That was fine. Remy’d never been this eager for someone before—not even when he and Levi were teenagers and figured out they wanted to make each other feel good, spending every spare moment sneaking around to get off together—and he shouldn’t be surprised that Jed wasn’t affected the same way. Like, Jed had more experience, and probably what they’d done wasn’t as big a deal for him, because he hadn’t been thinking about Remy for months.

Years.

Whatever.

He needed to remember that. Even if Jed had obviously been into the sex they’d had last night, and had eventually been into the sex they’d had again this morning, he needed to remember that he didn’t know what this meant to Jed.

He was going to find out, though. Because he wasn’t going to be able to think about his hockey game or anything else that actually mattered at all until he knew where they stood, even if that meant Jed telling him he’d changed his mind about taking things further and now they were done. So he wasn’t going to let this linger.

He’d taken a chance last night, and it had paid off. He could do it again.

Remy thought maybe Jed had the same idea about talking, because he didn’t turn on a podcast when they got into his SUV for the drive into town for lunch. He just pulled on his aviator-style sunglasses, which Remy had never thought twice about before but suddenly found super hot, and started driving down the mountain. Okay, Remy could work with that.

“Uh, so, I thought maybe we should talk before we see everyone for lunch,” he started, realizing that he’d been so focused on whether they’d talk that he didn’t know exactly what he wanted to say.

“Seems like a good idea.”

Remy waited, hoping Jed would take it from there, because he wasn’t sure what he was supposed to do. Ask what Jed thought they were doing? Say what he wanted them to be doing? This was a first for him, and he was out of his depth.

“So what’re we doing?” he finally asked, because he wanted Jed to go first.

“What do you want us to be doing?” Jed replied, and yeah, he should have seen that coming.

“You’re doing it again. Asking me what I want instead of saying what you think.”

“Am I?” asked Jed, like he hadn’t realized.

“Yeah, you are. And, like, I don’t always want to go first, you know?”

Jed glanced over at him, then took one hand off the steering wheel and rested it on Remy’s knee for a moment.

“I didn’t mean to do that. I guess I meant, this is kind of your show, Remy.”

“What does that even mean?” Remy felt the heat rise in his face. “Like, you could take it or leave it, but you’re gonna humor me if I want more?”

“No,” Jed said forcefully. “No, not at all.”

“So what, then?”

“Well.” Jed paused as if he wasn’t sure exactly how he wanted to put whatever he had to say. “I thought maybe last night we agreed to try being in a relationship. But you’re still getting over a guy who I can’t help but notice is kind of like me. Older, maybe someone you look up to. I don’t want to push you into anything.”

“That’s not what’s happening.” Did Jed really believe that, after the way Remy had thrown himself at him last night? And again that morning? Jed wasn’t saying more, so maybe he did believe that.

“Are you sure?” Jed asked after a moment.

“Yes, I’m sure. You’re actually nothing like Mike, first of all. And you’re definitely not pushing me into anything.”

“Okay.” Jed’s voice was so flat that Remy couldn’t tell whether he truly believed him or not.

“This doesn’t feel anything like whatever I was doing with Mike, okay?”

Remy needed Jed to get that this was real for him, but he also didn’t want to say that out loud. Not yet, at least. Because it was way too early to suggest he had feelings for Jed, even if he was pretty sure he did.