Page 118 of To Know Miss May

“Father?”

Instantly, the air between them changed, and a flicker of fear flashed through Mr. May’s eyes as he recognized his daughter’s voice.

He released his hold of August at once, then turned back to face Livvy.

August straightened his coat, then stepped to the side to face Livvy, as well.

Her eyes—bloodshot no doubt from the tears she must have shed for days—flickered between them, landing longer on August. Two days had gone by without them seeing one another, but even then, it seemed an eternity had passed, what with how greatly he missed her. But perhaps that was simply due to the fact that he knew their time of seeing each other often, of laughing in each other’s company and holding one another’s hands, was now gone.

“What ye be doin’ ’ere, Liv?” Mr. May asked, his tone laughably light.

With a weary look, she shifted her gaze from August, focusing on her father instead. “May I speak with ye?”

“’Course, love.” He walked away, turning to look at August over his shoulder. With a look of warning, he tossed his head to the gate, signaling that he’d meant what he’d said before—August was no longer an undergardener.

Then he reached his daughter’s side and urged her to follow him.

Livvy didn’t look back at August, nor did Mr. May have to tell him to leave twice.

August was finished. He knew that. Finished with his work in the gardens, finished with his life on the Mount, finished with his hope of being with the woman he loved.

Finished. And he had only himself to thank for it.

* * *

Livvy followed Father to another section of the gardens far away from August, neither of them stopping as they walked in silence.

A strange calmness had fallen over her in the last few moments. It wasn’t quite peace, for that would mean she was content with her life, and she was anything but that. Yet, she felt more in control than she had in years. More in control as she finally accepted what her life would now become.

She hadn’t been close enough to hear a word of the exchange between August and Father, but she’d seen the anger on both of their faces, and she knew August must have revealed to Father that he’d let Livvy in on their…what had it even been, an agreement? A plan?

Whatever it had been, she’d made the decision that morning—after hiding away from Father the day before—that she was finished mourning over the loss of some dream that could never have been a reality.

She believed August did have feelings for her—to a degree. But they’d been born from something she could never be happy with, something she could never trust. They were born from Father’s trickery.

Once they were far enough away from anyone who might overhear them, Father stopped and turned to face her, his anxiousness apparent on his flitting eyes and forced, lightened tone.

“So what brings ye ’ere, daugh’er?” he asked.

“Ye know why I be ’ere, Father.” She was finished with the façade, finished with the games and lies.

He frowned, appearing as if he wished to deny her words again, then he lowered his shoulders and tightened his lips. “It be that August Moon. ’E ruined it all. ’E…”

He trailed off as she shook her head, raising a hand to stop him. “Please, allow me to speak. I didn’t come ’ere to cast judgment or spew more ’atred. I simply came to ’pologize to ye.”

Father narrowed his eyes. “What for?”

That same sorrow she’d felt before threatened to overpower her, but she pushed on, unwilling to deviate from the course.

“For bein’ a disappointment to ye. For behavin’ in such a way that embarrassed ye so greatly that ye felt the need to go behind me back to change the way I be, just so ye could receive some peace.”

Speaking the words allowed pained her even more than she thought they would. And yet, it also brought a semblance of peace to her, having the issue no longer tucked away, to have it be spoken aloud for the both of them to face together.

“In order to show that I truly be sorry,” she continued, raising her chin, “I’ve agreed to accept your offer o’ livin’ off the Mount with your cousins. If they’ll still ’ave me.”

Father stared, as shocked as Livvy had been the day before when the thought had first entered her mind. But now, as she spoke them aloud, she knew this was what she needed to do. This was the only way she could move on, the only way to move forward.

“Be ye certain?” he asked.