Page 101 of Reaper’s Wrath

“That night before, when we had sex for the first time—the only time—I lied to you.”

I rack my brain trying to understand where she’s going with this but come up blank. “Lied about what?”

“About being on birth control. I wanted to be with you so much, and the night was so perfect, I didn’t want something as trivial as a condom to get in the way. At least, that’s what my sixteen-year-old brain thought. I discovered a few weeks later how not-trivial a condom can be.”

Time slows as I realize she’s talking about the baby she mentioned. “You got pregnant that night,” I murmur almost to myself. I’d wondered what she’d meant, and while I didn’t want to think of her as getting pregnant with someone else after I disappeared, stranger things have happened. We were only together the once, after all.

“Of course, I had no idea the day after. I knew that I needed to tell you, but I was a nervous wreck. I left the house and chickened out on the way. I told myself I’d tell you after work, only…”

“I never came home.”

Isa nods, her eyes welling with tears. “I was devastated when you disappeared. I couldn’t function. And then I started getting sick. When I realized I might be pregnant, it gave me a purpose. Instead of feeling all alone, I was carrying a piece of you with me.”

Jesus, I can’t breathe.

After everything this incredible woman has been through, it’s a miracle she’s still standing.

It never occurred to me we could have conceived that night. Maybe I was too naive. Or it could have been all the tragedy that happened such a short time after, but I never considered a pregnancy.

The realization spins in my head until I’m dizzy.

I could have had a child the whole time I was away and not known. The guilt and loss would have been crippling to return and discover what I’d missed. I hate that she had to suffer that loss on her own, but I can’t help feel a little relief that I wasn’t an absentee father, no matter how unintentional.

After Isa takes a sip of her water, I take her hand in mine, needing to feel connected to her.

She offers a bittersweet smile. “It’s strange because while it all feels fresh now, I’ve also already grieved the loss—Ario and my ability to have children. I may not have remembered the lost pregnancy, but I knew about the hysterectomy. None of the new memories change my current situation, really.”

“It’s still hard to relive.”

“Absolutely, but I’m glad I know because remembering means loss, but it also gives me a year's worth of our incredible memories to cherish.”

“You always did have a gift for silver linings.” I give her hand a squeeze, then take a drink, mulling over something else. “You know, I can’t imagine the hospital didn’t tell your father you were pregnant when they did the surgery.”

She stills, staring into the distance. “You’re right. He never mentioned it, though. Not that I recall.”

“Will you ask him about it?”

“Maybe. I’ll think about it. I don’t think he’d be too upset at this point, but I was terrified of telling him back then. That’s why I only told Ario. We were coming back from the doctor the day of the crash.” Her shaky smile is bittersweet sorrow. “We got to hear the baby’s heartbeat that day.” Emotion strangles her voice, and a tear leaves a salty stain down her cheek. “I told him about us. He was so happy—about the baby and us, regardless of my age and your disappearance. Or maybe because of those things. I don’t know. But you should have seen the joy on his face.”

That’s it. I can’t do this a second longer without holding her.

I pick her up from her chair and carry her to the bed, sitting with her on my lap. “He was a great man, Ees. I’m so sorry you had to lose him like that.”

She nods, and while I expect her to burst into tears again at any moment, she surprises me by lifting her gaze and giving me a watery smile.

“He saved me that day. I think it was in part because of the baby. He turned the car at the last second and made sure his side took the brunt of the impact.” Her gaze drops, and she fidgets before straddling my lap. “I know there’s a lot to work out between you and DiAngelo, but I hope you’ll try. My brother’s gone. You two still have a chance.”

She’s so damn sweet, trying to push me without upsetting me. I rub her back and pull her closer, enthralled by this incredible woman.

“What would you say if I told you I met with him yesterday?”

Her bluebird eyes light with joy. “Really?”

“Really. That’s why I was upset. Overall, it was a good step forward, but still hard as hell.”

She flings her arms around my neck in a hug. “Baby, I’m so proud of you. I know that couldn’t have been easy.”

God, she feels incredible against me. I know this isn’t the right time, but everything she says and does is making me want to be inside her. I love Isa so goddam much.