Page 193 of Wrong Number Right Doctor

“No, it isn’t.”

“It really is.”

He squeezes my shoulder once. “You’re at home. You’re allowed.”

I laugh through the tears. “That is such a stupid sentence.”

“It’s still true.”

I sit there for a minute, trying to get myself back under control while Nate stays exactly where he is, warm and solid and quietly furious on my behalf. Eventually I wipe my face and lean back.

He hands me a tissue from the box on the table.

“You had that ready,” I say.

“I know you.”

“That’s not comforting right now.”

“It’s not supposed to be.”

I blow my nose as gracefully as possible, which is to say not at all.

Finally, he says, “Why?”

I look at him. “Why what?”

“Why did you do this?” He turns toward me fully now. “Why take the job? Why do any of it?”

I look down at my hands for a second before answering. “Because we needed the money.”

His face hardens. “Maggie⁠—”

“No, let me finish.”

He stops.

I swallow once and keep my eyes on my fingers because it’s easier than looking at him.

“Your treatment cost money,” I say. “My tuition cost money. Rent costs money. Existing as a person with a body in this city costs money.”

He says nothing.

So I keep going. “I didn’t wake up one morning and think, wow, what a fun idea, let me get pregnant for a rich man as a side hustle. I took the job because I was drowning, Nate. We both were.”

He leans back slowly.

I finally look at him. “The bills were stacking up,” I say. “You were pretending your meds weren’t that expensive. I was pretending I could handle school and everything else and somehow not collapse. And then this came along and it was enough money to breathe for a second.”

His expression changes then. Not softer exactly. Worse. Because it’s guilt now.

“You did it because of me.”

“No,” I say immediately. “Don’t do that.”

“How am I supposed to not do that?”

“By listening to me.” My voice comes out sharper than I mean it to, but I don’t take it back. “It was because of all of it. Because of school. Because of you. Because of me. Because I was tired of counting every stupid dollar before buying groceries.”