Page 146 of Crash Course

“Jamie knew,” Theo says after a moment, his voice rough. “I think he knew even before the race.”

Theo’s words settle into my bones as the nurse pokes her head in again.

“You really should rest…” She trails off when she spots my visitor. “Theo Ashford. Can I get a picture?” She looks hopefully between us.

“How about an autograph.” Theo signs a piece of paper from the pad by the bed and hands it over. She scampers off.

“See? You’re halfway to being a superstar already,” I tease, and he grins. “Does that mean you won the seat?” My voice sounds more even this time, and evidently, I am capable of formulating a question. Progress.

Theo shoves his hands in his pockets and crosses to the window. “ARI issued a press release today,” he confirms. “But everyone’s demanding an explanation for why Jamie left. There’s speculation his withdrawal had to do with Dekker. They don’t know the truth…yet.”

“You deserved to win, Theo,” I tell him.

“But Jamie didn’t deserve to lose.” Theo crosses to my side again. “When I found out what happened to you, I should have stopped it. Or fixed it.” He curses. “It’s fucked up, but I won and I still wish I’d been Jamie. I’d die if anything happened to you on my watch.”

“I’m proud of you,” I say softly. “I might not be the one for you, Theo Ashford, but she’s out there.”

His fingers squeeze mine. “I’ll make it up to you. To you and Jamie.”

I’m glad he’s here, but it’s not enough. I can’t stay here. This place feels oppressive. I start to get out of bed, but Megan and Bree come back and catch me.

“Excuse me. I don’t think the doctors approved that,” Megan says.

“You can’t stop me.”

“No, but I can.” Theo blocks the way.

I size him up. “I can take you.”

“I’ll use my enormous fan base to clog the hallways. Did you see how that lady just busted in here for a photo?” He hitches a thumb toward the hall, flashing that Theo grin.

Damn it. I drop back onto the bed.

51

Shay

Getting discharged from the hospital is easier than I expected. Being home, where my dad dotes on me as if I might slip away at any moment, is harder.

He won’t let me out of sight for a second. The first night, he makes me the biggest stack of star-shaped pancakes I’ve ever seen and sleeps on the couch so he’ll hear me call if I need anything.

My brain fog clears the next day. The awkward yet adorable pep talk Dad gives me for surviving the first semester of school is heartwarming.

Still, for a moment, I think he won’t let me go to my exams a week after the crash, but when I remind him Megan’s going to pick me up and I won’t be alone for even a second, he releases me to my friends.

“That was cruel and unusual punishment,” Megan groans as we head out of our first exam, rubbing her fists over her bleary eyes, smearing makeup in the corner.

“Like I got hit by a truck,” Raj agrees, shaking his head.

I shoot him a look.

“Too soon?” Zane asks, shouldering his book bag.

Our feet shuffle along the shiny marble floors lining the academy. We’re a tired little army heading down the hall together after spending all morning hunched over desks and paper. Other students look over and whisper, and I know it’s me they’re talking about. But they have their own shit to deal with too, so I tell myself the gossip will pass.

“Let’s go to The Junction and celebrate by mainlining sugar.” Megan loops an arm through mine.

We pass the theater where Luca gave his Legacy Day address. The spot by the lockers where Theo gave me my AirPods. The door of the classroom where my legs brushed Jameson’s more than once, where I’d dream up ways to sabotage his car and pretend I didn’t crave him as much as I wanted revenge.