Page 21 of Lonesome Moon

We locked gazes, and I fell deep into those eyes of his. They were a darker green in this light, but I was close enough to see a few flecks of yellow in the mix. I also saw the freckles on his nose and the way his strong jawline was nearly square, in juxtaposition to the dimples on either side of his mouth.

“What would you ask for if you could?” Grant asked. “If you could have what you wanted now instead of later when you finally feel you’ve earned them?”

I thought for a moment, but the answer wasn’t something I could say out loud. I knew what it was, of course. I wanted Grant Walker to pull me close and kiss me and never let me go.

I stifled a sigh. Here we go again, I thought. All the feelings from three years ago were creeping right back in and planting themselves directly into my heart. I was falling for Grant even though he was clearly not available. Whether it was that he didn’t find me attractive, or he didn’t really like my personality, or if he truly was worried what Jack would think, it didn’t matter. I could not let my guard down or I’d fall so hard there would be no getting up ever again.

“What would it be?” Grant asked again.

“I’d ask for love. To meet the right man. Build a life with him.”

“What kind of man would he be?”

“Kind. Interesting. Smart, of course. Someone who valued family. A man who was passionate about whatever it was he did for a living.” Someone like you. “What about you? Do you know what you’d ask for if you could?”

“Exactly the same thing as you.”

We were quiet for a moment, until he rolled on his back and reached for his wine. “Let’s watch this movie. Maybe it’ll remind us there’s hope.”

“Good plan,” I said, returning to my previous position and clicking the movie back on to the scene of her making the chicken dish for her neighbor instead of herself.

Grant and I were only inches apart, but it may as well have been a cavern between us. I couldn’t reach for him the way I wanted to, and he surely wasn’t about to reach for me. Even in the most romantic setting in the world, we would remain apart.

I knew deep down it was better this way. Less messy. I should be thankful he had zero interest. Less chance of getting hurt that way. I’d enjoy his company for a month and then go back to my real life.

Push it all back inside, Luci Wilder. Wishing for things one could never have was an exercise in futility. I was smarter than that.

5

GRANT

December 4

Adopt-a-Family Shopping Day

Overcast · Cold

Supper: Baked ham · Scalloped potatoes · Green beans

I woke not knowing where I was, the weight of another body wrapped around me. Luci. I was in Luci’s bed. We’d fallen asleep watching the movie and now she was on my chest, her silky hair all around me. How had this happened? I’d been watching Queen Latifah choosing a new wardrobe one minute and the next thing I knew morning light was seeping through the blinds.

Panic rose in me swift and hot. What if someone noticed I’d gone to Luci’s cabin? What if Jack saw me walking out of here? How was I going to get out of this bed without waking her? I couldn’t face her. Not like this. I would ease out of the bed slowly. She would never know I’d been there. But first, I let myself enjoy the weight and warmth of her, the scent of her hair and skin. This is what it would be like to have her by my side. This slice of heaven would be mine every morning.

I didn’t have to figure out how to escape because just then Luci woke. Not just woke, jerked awake, sitting up completely disoriented, her eyes still glazed from sleep.

“Is it morning?” Luci asked, sitting up and looking around.

I nodded, unable to think of anything to say.

“And you’re still here.”

“Yep.”

Luci swept her hair over her shoulders. “We must have fallen asleep. I’m so sorry I was on top of you.”

“It was cold.” I sat all the way up, swinging my legs to the floor and stood, stumbling on my shoes I’d left by the bed the night before.

She drew her knees to her chest. We were still in our jeans and sweaters from the night before. “You okay?”