Page 45 of Fragile hearts

“Holy shit, Sunshine,” I croak.

“I got their pictures from the internet.” She smiles sheepishly, handing me another note. This one also includes Joey, Melissa, and Colton, but Connor and I are on there too. We’re standing side by side, big smiles on our faces. Colton is jumping in the sky. I can hear his laugh just by looking at it. “Alexis, this is amazing.”

“Do you like them?”

“I love them. This—Fuck.” I’m speechless. We never had a picture that included all five of us. I have always regretted it. But thanks to the wonderful woman sitting next to me, we have one now.

“These are the originals, but I have made copies for Connor and anyone else who would like one.”

“This is the best thing anyone has ever gotten me. I don’t know how to thank you.” She waves me off. “It’s what I do, but I’m glad you like them. Your mom said you don’t have many photos of them, so I came up with an idea. I thought maybe you would like to have one with them as well.”

“I do, I like them very much.” My heart is full with gratitude. She has no idea how much this means to me.”

She grabs my hand, interlocks our fingers, squeezes, and whispers, “I’m glad.”

I gently place the paper on the lounge chair, then pull Alexis closer to me and wrap her in a tight hug. “Thank you,” I say as I nuzzle her hair while she strokes my back. She melts in my embrace. I close my eyes in ecstasy. I never knew a hug could make me feel so happy.

I pull back after a few minutes. She smiles up at me and brushes the lone tear from my cheek. “Do you want to see the ones of Micah and me?”

“You make those yourself too?” She nods, plucking a hair from my shirt. “Yeah, that’s how it all started. I’ll get them. Do you want something to drink?” I shake my head. I pick up the portraits with shaky hands as she walks inside. “I miss you guys so much.” They look so happy. Alexis captured their facial structures and their smiles beautifully.

“I have several,” Alexis says as she sits next to me again, a pile of papers in her hands. She hands me one: a portrait of two young kids, they’re smiling at the camera. The girl is holding a trophy, raising it high in the sky.

“We are seven here. I had won the spelling bee tournament.”

“Oh my god, you were adorable.” Her cheeks heat up as he hands me another one. “This was us at the playground. It didn’t have a picture of it, but I dream about it a lot. Micah was always watching me since he didn’t like heights.”

“What was he like?”

“Micah?”

“Yeah.”

“No one ever asks me that. People know how he died. But they don’t know who he was alive.”

“You can talk to me about him, if you’d like?” I wait in anticipation hoping I’m not overstepping.

“Really?”

I nod, my lips tilting up at the excited tone in her voice. “Yeah, of course. I want to know about him.”

“Okay, well, he was always happy, even when our living situation wasn’t great. He was always smiling and telling jokes. He was shy around people he didn’t know, and sometimes people made fun of him for that. He loved Mickey Mouse and chocolate pudding. He wanted to be an astronaut growing up. He said he would go to the moon and bring a piece for me so I could draw it.” Her breath catches. “He was the happiest little boy.” Tears form in the corner of her eyes. She quickly wipes them away. “He didn’t deserve to die like that.”

“No, he didn’t,” I say softly, palming her thigh.

“All he wanted to do was sleep. He was just a little boy who wanted to sleep.”

“I know, Sunshine, he sounds like an amazing kid.”

“He was,” she croaks. “He was the most amazing boy, and the best brother I could ever wish for. I want to visit his grave, but I’m scared.”

“Scared of what?”

“He didn’t like small spaces. What if he doesn’t like it there?”

“His grave is absolutely beautiful,” I confess.

She sniffles. “Have you seen it?”