Page 35 of Fragile hearts

His eyes sparkle with excitement. “Really?”

“Yeah, wait, I’ll grab it.” I rummage through my bag, grabbing the toys I had bought for him earlier when Carson was having lunch.

“Here you go.”

His mouth drops open when he sees the dinosaur beach toy set. It includes a bucket, a little shovel, and some dinosaur sand shapes. “Oh wowie, this is cool!”

“Do you like it?”

“I love it!” He meets his father’s stare. “Look, Daddy, look!”

“Wow, buddy, that is very cool. What do you say to Ms. Alexis?”

“Thank you, Ms. Sunshine.” I chuckle at the misuse of my name. I like Ms. Sunshine better anyway.

Carson bumps his shoulder against mine. “You didn’t have to do that.”

I shrug. “I wanted to.”

The beach is packed for a Thursday. Kids are running through the water while their parents yell at them to slow down. I grab the hem of my top. I have never cared about other people their opinions, but now that I’m about to show the whole beach my scars, I’m nervous. “Hey,” Carson’s voice brings me out of my thoughts. I meet his eyes, smiling at the bright blue and deep brown. I was speaking the truth. I love his eyes.

“Don’t let other people change your opinion about yourself…Fuck them.”

“Fuck them?”

“Yeah, fuck them, well not really, but you know what I mean.”

I pat his thigh. “Fine, but same goes for you, okay?”

“Okay.” I slowly take my tank top off. Carson sucks in a breath. I look up at him.

He smiles gently, urging me to continue.

I throw the top in my bag, take my shorts off and throw them in there too, until I’m wearing nothing but my bikini.

I ignore the surprised gasps from beside me. My finger trails over the scar on my stomach. This one is the most prominent. The others are smaller. Excluding the one on my throat, of course. Carson’s burning stare make goosebumps form on my arms, even though it’s a hundred degrees here. I’m normally good at deciphering Carson’s gaze, but I can’t place the look in his eyes. He looks in awe, but that would be ridiculous. My body is nothing to be drooling about.

I like it, but that doesn’t mean other people will like it. If I lay flat, my ribs stick out, and my hip bones are prominent due to me not eating well as a kid.

I like my body. Every time I stare at it, I remind myself I made it out, and I will not change the way I look. If they’re not happy with it, they should look away.

But the way Carson looks at me right now is as if I hung the moon. I swear he’s drooling.

Carson quickly stares up at the sky and curses quietly. “Fucking hell.” His hands shake as he breathes.

“Dude, what the fuck?” An unfamiliar voice yells from a few feet away, snarling at me in disgust. “You should hide that, trust me, no one wants to see it.” Carson stills beside me, so still he might be frozen, until he speaks. His voice lethal.

“What did you just say?”

The guy laughs, elbowing his friend. “Look, the freak is talking.”

Freak? Did he just call Carson a freak? Carson winces. Anger flares up in me. I don’t care what he said to me. I’m used to it, but no one is using Carson’s insecurity against him.

“What did you just call him?” I stand up from the towel.

The pain in my feet doesn’t surge in my body. The only thing I feel is the anger thrumming through my veins. “I said. What did you call him?” My fingers curl into fists as I near him. He takes a step back, seeing the anger in my eyes.

“Oh look who’s talking. It’s scar face.”