Page 21 of Fragile hearts

“I think that’s the problem. You don’t lean on someone. You can’t do it on your own, you’ll stay trapped in your own mind. You need to let people in and talk about it. Otherwise, it will keep happening.” She leans back in the cushions. “Does your family know you have trouble sleeping?”

I don’t answer. Alexis sighs, patting my thigh.

“Carson, they need to know. They can help.”

I shake my head. “No, they’re going through enough. They don’t need to be saddled with my problems.”

“Look, I’m not going to tell you what to do. It’s none of my business, but I don’t have a family. I don’t have parents. I lost my only family member at eight years old. I don’t know what it feels like to be loved by a parent. To have someone I could talk to. But I have met your parents, and I know they would do anything for you if you only asked.”

“I’m sorry.”

Her eyebrows pinch. I feel like such an asshole. I have a family I can confide in while she suffered alone for fifteen years. “What for?”

“For being such a shit. You were all alone, you had no one to talk to, and here I am complaining about not wanting to tell my family.”

“You have nothing to apologize for. I don’t have a family. I never had parents, and I’m used to that. You have every right to feel the way you do. That has nothing to do with me.”

“Still, I’m sorry that you were all alone.”

She lifts her shoulder. “Just because I’m alone doesn’t mean you have to be. Please talk to someone before it takes over your life.”

“No peanut butter,” I tell Killian when he tries to put a jar of peanut butter in the cart.

He pouts. Literally pouts. “But I love peanut butter!” he explains in a loud voice. Echoing through the halls of the store.

“Then buy it yourself. Because I’m not buying it.”

“You’re no fun.” I shake my head and walk to the next aisle, leaving him standing there. I was planning on going to the store alone. I was almost there when Killian called, claiming he needed to get groceries too. So I turned around, picked him up, and stopped at McDonald’s because he wanted a milkshake. And now we’re here. I’m getting things I need, and he’s getting things he thinks I need. I stop by the coffee aisle, grab a pack of coffee, and follow Killian, who’s staring intensively at a product in the next aisle. “Do you need this?” He’s leaning against the shopping cart, holding a pack of condoms in his left hand.

Seriously?

I ignore the wiggling of his eyebrows and the way the corner of his lips tilts into a smile. I slap the pack out of his hands. His smile turns into a frown. “Bubblegum flavor?”

Killian shrugs nonchalantly. “Who doesn’t like bubblegum?”

“I bet it doesn’t even taste like bubblegum.”

Killian turns so he’s facing me. “It does actually.” He grabs the cart, walking into the next aisle. I place the bubblegum condoms back on the shelf when his words register.

“Oh come on, man,” I mutter. “I don’t need to know that!”

Killian laughs from the other aisle. I scrunch my nose in disgust.

Really did not need to know that.

“What? I’m bi. What do you think I do in bed?”

“Dude, you know I fully support you with anything, but I really don’t need to know that. You’re gonna make me puke.”

Killian is my best friend. But one thing I don’t need to know about is his sex life. I could never look him in the eyes again if I knew what he did. Or who he did.

“Hey, do you remember that Mickey Mouse toy you used to have?”

“The car one?”

I nod. Killian blows out a breath. “It must be in the attic somewhere. Why?”

I shrug, not meeting his gaze.