Page 131 of Graves

You’re a loser who destroys everything he cares about.

My body feels like an overheated machine. I stumble around, no longer knowing which way is up.

When I bang my shin against the table, a tremor runs through my limbs and I lose my balance. I stagger and fall.

A dull thud against my head knocks me out.

That’s probably the best thing that could have happened to me.

When I come to, I’m lying on the couch with my legs elevated and a wet cloth cooling my forehead.

Fox is sitting in the armchair, reading a magazine—probably one Koh bought—and bouncing one leg. “Oh, you’re back,” he says, relieved, and sets the magazine aside.

My head is pounding, a thorn lodged behind my eyes, spreading toward the back of my skull. Groaning, I sit up and exhale. It takes a moment before I can see again.

All the alcohol has disappeared from the coffee table. The only things left are a glass of water and a pack of painkillers.

“Help yourself,” Fox says cheerfully.

I doubt the pills will do anything, but it’s worth a try.

We sit in silence for a while. I don’t know what to say. Everything has become so complicated. But I’m glad I’m not alone and that Fox is keeping me company.

“Sorry,” I mutter regretfully.

“For what?”

“I probably acted like an asshole.”

Fox laughs loudly and leans back. “I knew it wouldn’t be easy. There’s a lot of pressure on you. I have no idea how I’d handle it in your position.”

“But I’m fucking everything up.”

“Where’s Koh?”

“Gone. Moved out.”

“Oh? Just like that? Because of that guy in the photo?”

I just sniff and wipe my mouth.

“Koh was good for you. What happened?”

“Maybe it’s better that he’s not with me. I only hurt him. Just like Ben. And then everything goes to shit. I’m not good for him.”

“You really believe that?”

I nod, forcing all the feelings I have for Koh back into the dark depths.

“All right then,” Fox says in a firm tone and stands up from the armchair. “That’s enough. Get up.”

“What?”

“Do something about it! You want Koh back? Then become the man who’s good for him.”

I pause.

He’s right, but where is this coming from so suddenly?