Page 115 of Graves

Her expression softens. She sits on the arm of the other chair. “I’m sorry, Aran.”

I shake my head. “He thinks he’s the farmer and we’re the cattle. An apology from you doesn’t cut it.”

“You have to understand—this is business. The label took a huge risk with these five shows. There’s a lot of money on the line.”

“Oh yeah?” I ask, skeptical. “How are we doing right now? Are we doing our job well? Getting enough Spotify streams? Or are we already on a sinking ship?”

“You’re… on track,” Leslie says, clearing her throat and straightening her shoulders. “That’s good. But don’t think a possible new contract depends only on the numbers.”

I roll my eyes and cross my arms. “You don’t believe that yourself.”

“Have you guys discussed what happens next? Contract or no contract?”

The guys stay quiet and turn to me. Leslie crosses her legs, her black high heel dangling from her foot.

“It would be a shame to waste this chance. I have no influence over a new contract, but I’m sure if you want to continue, you’ll easily find another label.”

Even after the long night, I remember my conversation with Liam. The band wants to keep going. Sam checks his watch while Mike stares at me, both waiting for my answer.

Continuing is the only logical thing to do. The chance of a lifetime to do what I’m best at again. And yet I can’t shake this weird feeling that stepping back into the spotlight might be the biggest mistake of my life.

Wasn’t last night proof enough that I should just crawl into a cave?

Besides, I haven’t even had time to think about my future career or figure out if this is really what I want.

But the band and Leslie are waiting. Even Fox, who just walked in, senses the tension and asks, “Am I interrupting something?”

“Not really,” Liam says. “Aran was just about to tell the others that we’re continuing.”

“What? For real?” Sam asks, surprised but with a childlike sparkle in his eyes. “That’s awesome!”

“Fuck yes!” Mike cheers. “This is gonna be huge!”

I mentally facepalm, stunned at my own inability to take control of this or set the record straight. My excitement is nonexistent, and I can’t bring myself to be swept up in the others’ euphoria.

“The celebration can wait,” Liam says, raising his water bottle with a big grin, trying to cover up the long night. “But don’t worry, we’ll make up for it.”

Leslie gets up and kisses the top of my head. “That’s great news. The perfect foundation for extending the contract.”

I force a smile and open Instagram on my phone, even though I couldn’t care less. I’ve been avoiding the official Grave Sinner account since I got out, and my private feed is such a mess that nothing there interests me either.

I’m losing control, forced to watch my life slip through my fingers. I’m caught in a whirlpool, spinning down into the dark with nothing to grab onto.

Maybe I should just back out?

Or at least ask for some breathing room…?

“Can we keep this between us for now?” I ask the group.

Frowns and surprised silence meet me. Before anyone can ask a dumb question, I add a half-hearted explanation.

“As long as we don’t have a contract, there’s no reason to go public with it.”

“I understand,” Leslie says. “After what happened yesterday, it’s completely understandable. Still, we already have several interview requests. There’s really no reason to keep it a secret. What do you guys think?”

Liam shrugs. “I don’t care.”

“What interview?” The suspicion in my voice is obvious.