Page 94 of Play Room Actor

“Those parties are brutal,” he said, exhaling smoke.

“How do you know?”

“I worked as a call boy long enough to see how that stuff destroys people. I know two guys who got HIV at those parties. Not long ago, I even heard about a guy who hung himself during one.”

A wave of darkness crashed over me like an avalanche. I had no idea how long I stared into nothing, my mind replaying the memory of the bright white ceramic floor and the overturned wooden stool. Eventually, I managed to tear myself away from the image. I leaned forward, burying my face in my hands.

But I could still see Gian, hanging from the metal beam in that sterile apartment. The stool beneath him. The messy bed behind him where the threesome had just taken place.

“Fuck,” I said, my voice breaking as I pressed my palms harder against my face. “We were only gone for a quick shower.”

I’d replayed that night in my head countless times—alone, with Nico, even with my therapist. I knew there was nothing I could have done to stop it. Still, I couldn’t let go of the guilt.

“I’m sorry,” Juri said softly. “I didn’t know …”

“It’s fine,” I said sharply, sucking in a shaky breath and straightening up. “It’s just … a lot right now.”

27

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Dominic

The walk with Nico helped me center myself. When we returned late in the afternoon and found Luca and Juri kissing on the couch, I wasn’t bothered. I thought about Kilian and wondered where he was. As far as I knew, he didn’t have another performance until Sunday, which was when he had to be present.

While Luca and Juri retreated to their room and Nico sat down with his laptop for a bit, I used the time to do my exercises and meditate.

Later in the evening, Hector joined us and fired up the grill. Nico and Luca prepared a few salads, and I sat with Juri in the shade, drinking a beer. I couldn’t resist and asked him about his career as a callboy. Who knows, maybe someday I’d be playing one myself.

Hector was within earshot but kept quiet. When Juri went inside, I walked over to him. I was surprised at how well we had connected since that day we waited together outside Nico’s room in the hospital. That moment had bonded us in some way. Hector had even thanked me later for calling the ambulance in time.

He was going through a divorce, which likely explained why he no longer appeared to be the impeccably groomed lawyer he once was. Instead, he gave off the impression of someone suffering from some sort of obsession. Since being with Nico, he had loosened up, even letting his brown hair fall into wild disarray.

“How’s it going, Corvo?” I asked, sipping my beer. “Everything okay at your other home?”

He glanced up briefly, then turned back to the grill.

“My girls have gradually accepted that I’m into guys,” he answered in a monotone. “But Viktoria probably won’t get over her bruised ego anytime soon.” Hector paused. “And you know what?” He turned his head toward me. “I’ve never been better.”

“I’m happy for you, man. It gives me hope.”

“Nico told me what happened yesterday.”

“That was quick,” I muttered into the bottle, taking another sip.

“Does it reassure you if I say I knew you were trouble?”

I laughed. “And I thought I had played my true self so well.”

“You’re an actor, but you can’t keep up the mask forever in real life. Just look at me.” He effortlessly flipped the meat on the grill. “Everything was fine until I made that one mistake.”

“Nico? After the poker game?”

“Yeah … One little mistake, and the whole house of cards came crashing down.”

“I didn’t try to keep it a secret. It just never felt like the right time to confess.”

“The lighting designer, right?”