Page 37 of Play Room Actor

“Too late!” I interrupted. “Because I want to talk about it.”

“Why?”

“What do you mean? Why am I here? Why didn’t I hit you back? Or why did I drag you along after the exhibit last Friday?”

“Because you didn’t want to be the fifth wheel,” he replied, reminding me of my own words.

“Exactly! Who would want that? I could’ve dragged anyone along! But if you hadn’t come, I would’ve gone home.”

For a while, Dominic just stared at me, frozen. Then he shook his head.

“It’s pointless,” he whispered, staring down at the ground.

“Oh, no!” I disagreed. “And you know why? Because you liked it. Because you like kissing me. Maybe you like kissing Horatio too, I don’t know, but you like kissing me. And I like kissing you.”

“It doesn’t feel the same when I kiss Horatio,” Dominic said quietly, still not looking at me. A strand of hair had come loose from his style and fell over his face. “I feel nothing with Horatio. But with you … when you touch me, you fill an emptiness inside me.”

I froze. I hadn’t expected that. “Well, if that’s the case, why are you always so depressed afterward?”

“Forget it,” Dominic said, trying to move past me.

But I wouldn’t let him. I grasped both of his shoulders again and pressed him back against the wall. “No. Tell me!”

Dominic squirmed in my grip and did everything he could to avoid my gaze. So, I took more direct action and kissed him. It was a rough, demanding kiss. With my tongue, I showed him I was the one in control. When a soft sigh escaped him, I pulled away.

“See? You can’t deny it.”

“I’m not denying it, but …”

“What? What is it? A micropenis? Or do you have a vagina? Are you secretly a woman? Or … I don’t know? Do you have a thing for bunnies or cows? I can handle it as long as I get to kiss you once in a while.”

Dominic didn’t even manage to force a smile. “I …”

I waited patiently, which was not exactly my strong suit.

“I … can’t.”

I rolled my eyes in frustration. “What does that even mean? That means nothing.”

“No … I can’t. I mean …”

I winced.

“I can’t get it up,” he snapped. “So? Are you happy now?”

“What? Who cares about that! You’re still young! You’ll figure it out!”

“You don’t understand.”

“Why not? You think I always get it up? Besides, I’ve seen you. You were turned on. You had fun giving me a blowjob.”

Dominic broke free from my grip and took a few steps back. Stunned, he raked his fingers through his disheveled hair. He turned to me, anger flickering in his eyes. “Why are you like this?”

“I don’t understand,” I stammered. “What do you mean?”

“Like this! Every day, I try not to let it get to me and fight against the feeling of being a total failure. I don’t always manage to be confident! But then you come along and act like it’s no big deal! It is a big deal! It’s holding me back and making my life hard! It makes me feel like only half a man! And you …”

“Would you rather I hug you? Tell you everything will be okay and all that crap?” I asked, my tone serious.