Page 86 of Something Spontaneous

I narrow my eyes at her, thinking about that first interaction at the diner where she literally couldn’t stand to be near me for another second. “She told you about that?”

She shakes her head and smirks. “No. This is a small town. You think I don’t have my own sources?”

I’m going to have to assume she means Riley, because she was the only one who would have witnessed that moment. I won’t hold it against her because, again, the improved coffee she fuels me with is a lifesaver.

“So? What’s going on between you two?” Sisi asks again, continuing to chew on the bone that is my waning patience.

Every second in this booth is one that I’m not back in my apartment, where Josie is wearing nothing but my hoodie. It’s so oversized on her, she was practically swimming in it, to the point that it hid the boy shorts she had on when I left.

I look over Sisi’s shoulder, not focusing on anything specific, while I consider her question. I don’t even know where to start, but based on my sister’s recent advice, I go with honesty.

“For now, I guess things are good, or okay?” I sigh and run my hand over my stubble, still not quite used to the shorter length. “Other than admitting we still have feelings for each other, nothing has changed. We’re so different than we were when we split up, but also still in the same exact spot. I don’t know how this ends well for either of us.”

Her expression softens into something both understanding and apologetic. It’s the latter that I don’t like.

“You know, I still don’t know what ever happened between you two. I know better than asking Josie, because clearly it took her years to even remotely get over it, but you’ve never said either, and I’ve basically seen you every day since she left. For the first time since then, you’ve been sort of… you again.”

“Do you really want to know?”

She nods, and I set my coffee down.

I sigh, rubbing the spot above the bridge of my nose, wishing I could will away this memory. As much as I hate reliving that moment, having Sisi’s help might be my best chance to figure out how to make the most of the luck that brought Josie back into my lap—the luck I certainly don’t deserve.

“Fine. The short version. She was miserable after her parents were charged. I saw the way the town treated her. I knew—no—I still know her. She was always meant to be free.”

Sisi’s brows raise, and any trace of amusement or humor on her face is gone. I feel the skin on my knuckles tighten when I clamp my fist around my coffee. I close my eyes and drop my head, feeling the shame that’s haunted me for so long.

“I tried to burn that bridge between us. I told her we were just dumb kids and didn’t know what love was. I told her she needed to move on because we were never really in love.”

When I blink, trying to pry my eyes open, I almost don’t recognize my sister. I’ve seen her pissed. I’ve seen her broken-hearted. I’ve seen her beyond joyous. Her expression now borders on a combination of rage and indignation that honestly terrifies me. Frankly, I can’t blame her. I’ve gone years without saying this out loud to anyone, and after hearing myself say it for the second time in weeks, self-loathing doesn’t describe my feelings adequately.

Her nostrils flare, and she flattens her hands on the table on either side of her plate.

“What the fuck was wrong with you, Sylvester Sterling?” She picks up her fork and jabs it across the table. For a second, I think she’s going to wield it as a weapon, instead of a warning. “She wasn’t just the love of your life. She was my best friend, and you chased her out of town instead of being there for her and supporting her?”

“I don’t know?” I throw my hands out to my sides. “I was eighteen. I thought I was doing the right thing. By the time I finally got my head out of my ass, I thought it was too late.”

She groans. “You stupid, stupid, stupid boy.”

“You don’t think I’ve known that every day for years at this point? And seriously, can everyone stop calling me stupid? You’re going to give me a complex or something.”

She gives me a funny look for the briefest of moments. “Well, at least your sense of humor is becoming less morbid, finally. But seriously, what the hell was wrong with you? Actually, what the hell is wrong with all the men around me? You’re all just dumb boys.”

“A lot of things, clearly. At least I’m trying to fix it now. You could try to help me?”

She shakes her head. “You really want my help? Because I’m wondering if you really deserve her.” She points her fork away from me and down at her plate. “In fact, you’re lucky that Riley is amazing and this food is so good because if it wasn’t, I’d throw this damn plate at you.”

“Please?” Is the only thing I can manage to say, knowing that she’s right… once again.

She closes her eyes, takes a deep breath—something she does when she’s trying to steady herself—and exhales before looking back at me. “Fine. Here’s what you’re going to do. Leave this diner right now and go talk to her. For the love of god, do not make that same mistake again.” She lets out an exasperated sigh, takes a drink of her coffee, and turns her attention back to me. “Look, I might not be a relationship advice⁠—”

“Expert? Because you sure think you are,” I tease, instantly regretting it by the glare she levels at me.

“You do actually want my advice, right?” She points at the door. “Because I can leave without giving it to you.”

I hold up my hands in surrender, and she smirks. “Good. So, as I was saying… I’m not the expert on this, obviously, because hey, my ex-fiancé left me at the altar. I do know enough to know what love looks like when I see it, thanks to our parents and grandparents, and you two clearly still love each other. So freaking talk to each other like adults this time.”

CHAPTER 37