Page 100 of The Beekeeper

“Good news?” Blaze chimed again, again with an expression of interest that was real, if exaggerated.

Pais instantly went off telling him about the new queen and the improvements in the sick hive while he lifted her into her car seat and buckled her in. I waved goodbye, but she was too engrossed with her story to see me, and Blaze too focused on her to notice either.

He’s not good at being in a hive.

I went inside, fighting for a distraction against the burning in my chest. This was good, I repeated and then made my mind list out all the reasons it was better to suffer a thousand little cuts now, ones that would bleed out any false hope from my system, rather than letting that hope build until the only way to remove it would be to break my heart.

I jumped at the soft knock on my door.

“Harper.” His voice was quiet but unmistakable.

My hand stilled on my laptop, poised over the submit button on the table application form for the Stonebar farmers’ market. I hadn’t talked to Blaze after earlier—not privately at least—and I couldn’t shake the gnawing pit in my stomach that this was over; that we were over. But there was no ‘we,’ there was just a fling.

And after all the distractions I’d tried, this was the only one that stuck; to put myself back out there.

‘Don’t make yourself small.’

Not for Adam and not for Blaze.

“Harper?” he said again, softer.

I glanced at the door and then looked back to my screen. A second later, I pushed submit on the application. I was going to keep going after what I wanted, no matter what happened.

If only holding onto Blaze were as simple as clicking a button.

By the time I reached the door, I was sure of what was about to happen. This was going to be the end. The release of our contract. The end of this…complication. But when I opened it, my eyes went wide.

“Are you okay? What’s wrong?” I asked, my senses instantly on alert. He’d been fine earlier after dinner, when he’d gone up with Paisley to get her ready for bed. He’d been completely fine. Now, he looked like a man destroyed.

“Can I…” He huffed a breath, spearing a hand through his hair.

“Come in.” I stepped aside, almost having to pull him through the doorway because he looked so unsteady. “What’s going on?” I gently closed the door.

A fractured groan erupted from his chest as he sank to the floor next to my bed, propping his back against it. Gingerly, I went to his side and lowered down onto my knees.

He didn’t even look at me. He stared straight ahead like a ship without an anchor.

“Blaze.” I covered his hand with mine, and he flinched, remembering himself. Remembering me.

Slowly, his head swiveled and his fear-drenched pupils found mine. No matter how I wanted to, I said nothing. I stayed silent, holding his hand and holding his eyes, giving him the time he needed to collect himself.

“It’s over,” he began. “Wade filed our responses to Angela’s last set of questions earlier which means…there’s nothing more to do. Nothing more I can do.”

My knees almost gave out as soon as I realized he was talking about the case, not us. And somehow, it was just as heartbreaking. I had no idea…no clue that they’d reached the end of the process. Hardly any clue where they even were in the process because Blaze never wanted to talk about it.

And now, I saw why.

“What if they take her away from me?” His voice completely fractured, and I saw he was fighting tears.

Oh god. He hadn’t told anyone in case the worst happened. He hadn’t told anyone because he couldn’t bear the weight of their hopes, worrying that he’d fail again.

“Blaze,” I said, my throat working overtime to keep my voice from wavering. “No matter what happens, you’ll never lose her. You’re her father.”

His jaw clenched so hard I was surprised it didn’t crack, and then he shook his head, so afraid of drowning in fear that it was easier to swallow self-deprecation.

“How can I be if they take her away? If they tell her she deserves better?”

“They won’t,” I insisted foolishly, pulling his hand onto my lap. “How could they? You’ve done everything for her. Everything.”