Page 21 of What the Smut?

I wish I’d never said anything. “The point being, take care of yourself. You can always make up for any words you didn’t write today.”

“If I didn’t give myself brain damage.”

“You seem fairly clearheaded to me.” As clearheaded as she ever is, anyway. “You’ll write tomorrow and, you know, pick up your flow or whatever it is you were complaining about.”

She snorts. “Spoken like somebody who’s never written a word in his life.” With a smirk, she takes the ice pack from me but keeps it placed against her forehead. “Thanks. I think I can manage it.”

I wish she hadn’t said it, since it means I no longer have an excuse to take care of her. It’s the kind of thing I could learn to enjoy. Caring for someone, having them depend on me, is making me feel needed in a way I never have before. Even when I did have a relationship with my brother, I never felt like he needed me. If anything, he probably saw me as a burden. He had to take care of me after our parents died, after all. I know that wasn’t easy for him, that he joined the Mob just so he could provide for us. Maybe that urge to provide the way he did was what really made me want to follow in his footsteps, even if I didn’t see it at the time.

Eyeing the laptop, I can’t help but remember what I found on the screen and would’ve kept reading if she hadn’t flipped out. Such colorful language for a girl who doesn’t have any experience with a real, live man. She must be doing a decent job of it, or else she wouldn’t sell any books. Though who knows how many people actually buy this stuff. I don’t know anything about that. Would she tell the truth if I asked?

Why not find out?

“So let me ask you.” Pulling out one of the free chairs, I turn it around and straddle it, my arms folded across the top of the back. “How are book sales?”

There’s a wariness in her gaze when it lands on me. “Why?”

“Call it curiosity. Call it a lack of anything better to think about.” That’s not true, but I’m a lot more interested in the way June’s mind works than anything else at the moment. Maybe I just want to distract myself while we wait until I can get to Victor, or maybe it’s because there is something very compelling about June? Probably a little bit of both. I doubt she could guess how special that makes her. It takes a hell of a lot to get my mind off work, especially when my neck is on the line.

“Everything’s been fine. At least, it was until I disappeared from the event I was supposed to be attending.” There’s a tremble in her voice. Something tearful.

“Who knows? Sales might pick up after your disappearance.” All right, she clearly doesn’t see any humor in the situation, staring at me the way I’ve probably stared at her dozens of times by now.

“What’s with the sudden interest?” she asks. “Are you looking to open a bookshop?”

“I was only thinking.” About the appearance of my name in your work. I’m in the girl’s head. Why stop there?

Suddenly she’s hyper-interested in the ice pack, taking it away from her forehead so she can examine it closely. “About what?”

Now she has me on the spot. I suppose it’s time to put my money where my mouth is. “About what your readers think when it comes to whether your books are realistic or not.”

I should keep a running count of how many times I make her blush. “I told you already. That’s what the porn research is for.”

“Like I told you, porn is not realistic.”

“It’s a good thing the people who read the books I write aren’t looking for reality. They’re looking for something heightened.” She even lifts her chin and looks down her nose at me. “Or else why would they turn to my books to escape the everyday?”

She makes a good point. “Wouldn’t it be better if you had just a little bit of reality to draw from?” Holding up my hand, I place my thumb and forefinger an inch apart. “I mean, give it some thought. How can you describe what a woman’s body is going through while a man’s going down on her? Wouldn’t it be better if you could draw from your own personal feelings?”

That got her. Her eyes widen and her nostrils flare before she lets out a silent laugh. “Yeah, right. I’m starting to wonder if you’re the one who hit their head.”

“I’m very serious.” As I shrug, I watch the way her gaze darts around like it did when she caught sight of my dick and didn’t know what to do with herself. It’s almost as intriguing as the rapid rise and fall of her tits in time with the frantic breathing she’s fighting like hell to control. “I would be more than happy to help you go through some more hands-on research. Something to ground your work in reality, so to speak. What’s so wrong with that?”

“Only a million things.” With a shake of her head, she scoffs. “Even if you’re serious—which I doubt—you’d have to know that would go badly, fast.”

“Why? We’re both adults. We’re both professionals too,” I add with another shrug that belies how serious I am. More serious with every passing heartbeat. The longer I consider tasting, touching, fucking her, the more inevitable it all seems. “We can keep it professional. Research purposes only.”

The girl is going to start sweating soon. I’m sure she’s never even talked about doing anything like this before. In her imagination, no doubt, but this is a different beast. She’s starting to see that in full, vivid color.

If I have my way, she’ll gain much more experience. It’s only a matter of getting past her fears.

“Thanks for the offer.” She rises slowly, carefully. Is it the lingering effect of a bump on the head? Or are her legs shaking with anticipation? “I’ll take it under consideration.”

I know she will. She has no choice now that I’ve planted the seed. “The offer stands,” I reply as she goes to the freezer for more ice, though whether it’s for her head or her flushed body is anybody’s guess.

The shower is still running by the time I settle into bed, sitting up with my back to the headboard while June finishes getting ready to join me. Is the water hot, or did she have to turn it icy cold to cool herself off after spending the rest of the day considering my suggestion?

It could be I’m projecting. Imagining she’s as interested in me as I am in her. Who am I kidding? I’m hard up. She’s a woman, I’m a man. How long is this supposed to go on before nature demands more? We have only a few days ahead of us, but even that amount of time seems too long to fight this attraction.