Page 130 of Icebound

“I fucking hate this!” Cruz shouts from somewhere in the locker room. “I think my balls have shriveled into raisins. Patty, can you check?”

I sniff, wiping at my eyes, and follow Cruz’s voice around the corner.

“I’m not inspecting your ballsack,” Patty says. “I already did that once when you had that yeast infection, and it was disgusting. Never again.”

I walk down the hallway to find Patty and Cruz sitting in the aluminum hydrotherapy tubs. Coach Watson recommends it a couple of times a week to soothe our aching muscles, but sitting in a fifty-degree tub is one of my least favorite recovery methods. That’s something I won’t miss.

“Hey, Tremblay! There you are,” Cruz shouts through chattering teeth. “We’ve been looking for you. Where you been? And why are your eyes all red?”

I shove my hands in my sweatpants pockets. “Just talking to Coach, and it’s allergies.”

Cruz scoots forward in the tub. “What did Coach say? You’re still good to play next season, right? We need you back in the net, old man.”

“Stop with the ‘old man’ shit,” Patty says.

“Never.”

I clear my throat, trying to keep it together and not lose it in front of them. The guys will be fine without me. “Yeah. All good. I’ll be good.”

Patty’s eyes narrow like he’s trying to decide if I’m bluffing, but I’ve got a plan for telling them and it’s not happening while they’re soaking in an ice bath. “Want to come in this torture chamber with us, Tremblay? One last time?”

I’m not sure if that phrasing was intentional, so I wave a hand. “I better head home. Got to get back to my girl.”

Cruz laughs. “Oh, so Phil’s your girl now, huh? I fucking called it day one.”

“Yeah, she always has been. Just took me a while to see it.” Snatching my bag, I leave the locker room behind, my heart set on one destination—wherever Nina is, my home.

I open the door to my apartment, almost tripping on Nina’s running shoes by the door. I spot my skates right next to hers, and warmth bursts through my chest.

Her jean jacket hangs off the couch, a couple of dishes wait in the sink, and one of her vases is on the kitchen table next to some treats for Chicken. My apartment might be messier than normal, but it doesn’t feel like a hockey museum anymore.

It’s got all the clutter of a home.

Coming back to her sleeping in my bed every night has made these past few weeks bearable. It’s hard to hide things from Nina because she can sense something’s wrong, but instead of bombarding me with questions like the media, she simply holds me in her arms every night.

That’s all I want.

Knowing she’s there to listen if I need her is enough. This decision needs to be mine, and I don’t want her to think I’m making this choice for her. That’s too much pressure for anyone.

I scratch Chicken’s ear as I head into my bedroom. Steam billows out from my bathroom, and I bet Nina’s in there. Ever since she discovered I have jets that shoot water from the walls, she refuses to shower anywhere else.

I knock on the bathroom door. “Nina, you in there?”

“Are you expecting some other woman to be in your shower?” she calls out. “Because if that’s the case, we’re about to have a big fight, so I’d put on your helmet.”

Laughing, I step into the bathroom. “I love y—that you always say what’s on your mind.”

My back tenses. Shit. I almost did it again.

I snap my jaw shut before I do something crazy, like tell her I love her while she’s showering. I’m so close to blurting it out all the time.

I almost said it the other day when she made me a smoothie, but I’ve never said it to a woman other than my mom or sister, so I want it to be the right moment.

I stride up to my black tile walk-in shower. She’s a soapy, naked mess, standing under the stream of hot water. Nina’s rubbing her hands all over her wet body, and I get hard in an instant. “There’s no one else. It’s only you for me.”

Her mouth spreads into that beautiful smile I love, but it falls a second later. She’s been doing that a lot, smiling, then frowning, smiling, then frowning.

With a shake of her head, she pulls me forward by the rim of my joggers. “Take off your clothes and come in with me. I want you wet and naked.”