Page 118 of Icebound

My father peers across the table. His stare feels intense since the glasses make his eyes look bigger.

After a moment, he takes them off and folds them by his plate. “You’ve given your entire life to the League. You need to do right by you, Rhode. Not anyone else. You’ve always put everyone before yourself, and it’s time to be selfish. You’ve earned it.”

Irritation flares in me at his parental advice. It’s a little too late for that. My hands ball into fists beneath the white tablecloth. “And how would you know what’s right for me? Or do you want me to be selfish like you so you feel less guilty for leaving?”

He swallows but holds my fuming stare. “Leaving you, your sister, and your mom was the biggest mistake of my life. It’s the kind of choice that turns into a lifelong regret. I’ll never stop feeling guilty for that. Never.”

I pound my fist on the table, rattling the glasses. “Then why did you do it? And don’t give me any of your bullshit answers.”

My father takes his time folding his napkin and setting it down. In the time he’s been back, he’s never once raised his voice. “Because I was an idiot who didn’t realize what he had. I wish I had a better reason, but I don’t, and I’m done making excuses. Not everyone’s born to be a parent, and I had a lot of growing up to do. You’ve got to give everything to your family once you have one, but…”

He reaches across the table, gripping my good hand in a vice. I’m so shocked that I don’t pull away. “I need you to know something. It took me losing everything to realize that you, Wyn, your mom are everything to me. Coming back for my family was the best decision I ever made.”

My mind drifts to Nina, and the hole she left in my life. “Really?”

“Without a doubt. I didn’t realize what I had until I lost it, and I’m so grateful your mother gave me another chance. If I have to spend the rest of my life proving that I’m sticking around, I’ll do it. I know our relationship is tough, but you’re my son, and I love you no matter what.”

He squeezes me before letting go, and my hands feel cold when he releases them. I don’t know what to say, so we sit in heavy silence.

Maybe Nina’s right.

I would never want someone to hold my past version of myself over my head now, and that’s what I’ve been doing to my father. Holding grudges takes a lot of energy, and I don’t have much left. The League’s drained me. I’ve always thought about building my own family, but maybe I need to repair the one I already have first. We’ve got a long way to go, so this feels like the right place to start.

I meet my dad’s shining blue eyes, a reflection of my own, and release a breath that I’ve been holding onto for years. “Hey, Dad?”

He jerks. It takes him a second to respond. “Yes, son?”

“I know I’ve given you a hard time all these years, and you’re not off the hook, but I’m glad you came back for us.”

His grin widens into the most genuine smile I've seen on his face, and I can't help but mirror it with my own. We both clear our throats, and my dad shifts in his chair. “Me too. Though, your mom wasn’t too happy. You know what she did when I came back?”

“What?”

He laughs at the memory. “Threw a butter knife at me.”

I chuckle, settling back into my chair with no intention of leaving. “Good for her.”

28

NINA

“Gwendolyn!” I shout, ripping the cushions from the leather couch. “Have you seen my notecards? I can’t find them anywhere!”

“For the last time, I didn’t touch your notecards,” she shrieks from her room. “Look in the trash!”

I rub my ears at her high-pitched voice. Gwen’s mood has been darker than a gothic architecture painting for the past month, and she won’t talk to me about why, not that I’ve been trying all that hard since I found out about the kiss.

Isaac hasn’t been around the apartment, so I’m guessing her foul temper has something to do with him. My stormy mood has everything to do with missing Rhode, but I’m doing my best not to think about him.

Unfortunately, my best is atrocious.

I’ve scoured every article online to see how his rehab is progressing and picked up the phone, letting my thumb hover over his name more times than I can count. I’m getting closer and closer to calling him because I already regret ending things.

Seeing him looking broken at the restaurant was torture. I never should’ve tried to protect myself. I’m this close to saying go ahead and break my heart, Rhode Tremblay. It’s different this time. Before, my heart felt vacant, unoccupied, but now, it’s empty with the loss of him.

“I wrote my entire speech on those,” I shout back. “If you threw my notecards away, I’m going to kill you!”

“Please, you don’t even wipe the bugs off your windshield!”