Page 114 of Icebound

“Yeah, and it’s a playoff beard.” Cruz gestures to his stubble. “We all have one.”

“You call that patchy carpet on your face a beard?” Wyn huffs. “And no, it’s a breakup beard because he’s still wallowing about Nina, and he can’t play with his shoulder.”

Her name is like a slap.

It feels like I’ve been through the seven stages of grief over the past three weeks since she called things off. I went through this angry phase where I convinced myself Nina would’ve never fit into my life, but then I found one of her old T-shirts on the ground and smelled it for over an hour.

Chicken judged from his cat castle.

The throb she left in my chest is a constant ache, so I’ve been distracting myself with rehab and meeting with my sports therapist to discuss my potential retirement.

I’ve been pouring over my contract for the past few weeks, imagining a life without hockey, and I’m getting closer and closer to signing on that dotted line, but I can’t bring myself to do the deed.

I’ve tried looking at other women, but I feel sick anytime I so much as glance at someone else because they don’t have her beautiful eyes or sense of humor.

They don’t call me on my bullshit.

They don’t stand up for me.

They don’t make me feel invincible, even without hockey.

I’ve spent so much time focusing on all the ways we’re wrong for each other, I didn’t realize how right we are together, but none of that matters because Nina doesn’t want me, or this life, and I’m not going to ask her to change.

Wyn hops up on my marble counter, smoothing her white golf skirt. “Don’t worry, Ro. I’m a little sad about Nina too. I really liked her.”

Cruz nods. “Yeah, Phil was good for you.”

I shove my hands in my hoodie pocket, wincing at his nickname for her. “You didn’t think I was too old for her?”

Wyn waves a hand. “Please, not at all. Stop that. You’re the only one worried about the age difference. She made you smile all the time, and you were lighter around her. Less hockey, more Rhode, if that makes sense. I don’t care who you end up with as long as they make you happy.”

I miss her so damn much, and I didn’t realize how ingrained she’d become in my life until she left.

I swallow around the lump that got stuck in my throat a month ago, changing the subject because it’s hard to talk about her. “What are you two doing here? I thought we were meeting at the restaurant.”

“I didn’t trust you not to cancel on me and Dad, so I came over to drag you there,” Wyn says. “Cruz came with me for literally no reason other than the fact that he saw me at the arena looking for you.”

Cruz stares at my sister, or maybe he’s glaring, I can’t tell. “I wanted to check on Tremblay to make sure the old man’s okay. That’s why I came because I’m nice.”

Wyn sighs dramatically, looking down at her nails. “Get ready, Ro. No more sulking. You’ve never acted like this before, so pull yourself together. Even Nina looks more put together every time I see her in class.”

A rush of questions floods me. How’s she doing? Is she happy? Is she sleeping? The urge to bombard Wyn with them is hard to combat, but I grit my jaw.

With a grunt, I push open the door to my bedroom, leaving Wyn and Cruz bickering over who knows what in the kitchen.

My room’s a mess of clothing and gear, so I grab the first pair of sweats I can find. It’s a hassle with the sling. I put on a navy Guardians cap to hide my unwashed hair before walking into the kitchen without shaving. I’m not trying to impress anyone.

My beard’s fine.

Wyn and Cruz are nose to nose, shouting in each other’s faces. Well, Wyn’s yelling. Cruz is staring her down with a tight jaw. At the sound of my footsteps, they jump back.

Wyn huffs a breath and scans my clothing. “Really, Ro? This is a fancy restaurant. You can’t wear sweats. I told you to change.”

“Let them throw me out if they want. It’s not like I’m itching to spend time with Morgan.”

“Do you ever go to restaurants that aren’t fancy?” Cruz interrupts.

“No, because I have excellent, albeit expensive, taste,” she quips. “Something you’re probably unfamiliar with.”