Page 112 of Icebound

All that research is paying off. She knows her shit. But if I retire, I’ll be standing at the starting line of a journey to find myself, and that’s terrifying. I let out a gruff laugh at the thought.

It’s hard to believe Nina and I are in the same place in life, but there’s over a decade between us.

I loop my fingers through hers. “You’re right, but I can’t quit, Nina. I’ll rehab, and I’ll be back next season because my team needs me. I don’t let people down.”

Decision made.

She bites her bottom lip. I might be in pain, but it doesn’t stop me from wanting to dig my teeth into her soft skin. “Have you tried talking to Micah or Wyatt about this? I’m sure they’d understand.”

“No, I can’t. They wouldn’t get it. They’re at the beginning of their hockey career. The only person I can be honest with is you because you don’t care about hockey.”

“I think I might care a little now.”

I tug a strand of her hair. “Just a little?”

“Okay, a lot.” She kisses my cheek. “I might’ve become your biggest fan somehow over these past four months.”

Talking to her feels like taking off fifty pounds of extra gear. Nina listens to me rant about hockey. Goes to my games even though she doesn’t like crowds. Researches groin stretches.

Nina Alstyne’s climbing higher and higher on the list of most important people in my life. I should make this girl a bucket of cross-stitches, but that still wouldn’t be enough.

She steps back, studying my face. Her mouth opens and closes a few times, but she settles on a small grin that doesn’t reach her hazel eyes. “That’s what you’ll do. You’ll rehab and come back. They need you, and you’ll be there for them next season.”

I’m not sure what I expected her to say, so I don’t know why I feel crushed by that response. I should’ve known my girl doesn’t need me. Nina’s strong all on her own. She’s never once asked for more, and always takes my dreams into consideration.

She climbs onto the medical table and nuzzles into my chest. I wrap my good arm around her pulling her as close as possible to me, and we stay in this peaceful bubble as we watch medical staff run around.

I miss this girl even when she’s in my arms.

Nina stays until they put my shoulder in a brace, order my prescriptions, and give me the all clear to leave. She drives me back to my place and stops at the store to get some ice packs, but she’s quieter than normal on the ride home, which has me shifting in my seat.

We walk through my apartment door, and Chicken nuzzles her calves this time. She puts her shoes by my coat rack, like always. I drop my bag next to them, like always.

I settle onto my leather couch. All of this feels so normal, so comfortable, that it takes me a minute to realize Nina hasn’t said a word since we left the medical facility.

I pat the couch. “Come lay down with me. I’m cold, and I want you to warm me up.”

She leans back against the marble counter, putting more distance between us. “I can’t stay. I should probably go. I have to prep for my speech, and you should sleep.”

“How’s that coming, by the way?” I ask to keep her talking. “Still nervous?”

“Of course. The anxiety never goes away.”

“We can practice some more if you stay tonight.”

She looks down at her feet. “I can’t, Rhode. I’ve got an early class in the morning.”

My head tilts. She never fights me about staying over, and I know for a fact she doesn’t have class because I know her schedule. “I thought you didn’t have class on Fridays. I’ve missed you, and we barely get any time together. Just stay. Please?”

Her hazels look shinier than normal as she scans my face in the same way I watch an opponent trying to figure out their next move. My heart starts racing like it knows something my brain doesn’t.

“I’m so, so glad you’re okay, Rhode. You have no idea, but…” She sucks in a big breath like she’s about to deliver a punch. “Okay, I’m just going to say it. I can’t do this anymore. It’s too much.”

I sit up. “Do what? Stay here? Is it because Chicken sheds all the time? I know it’s annoying as shit, but I’ll vacuum.”

She snorts, but it sounds like a sniff. “Really? You’ll vacuum? Not your cleaning guy? You don’t even know where your vacuum is.”

“I know where my vacuum is. It’s…” Where do I keep my vacuum? Wait, why the fuck am I thinking about a vacuum right now? “Never mind. Doesn’t matter. What are you talking about?”