Page 150 of Never Not Friends

She rolls her eyes. “I don’t need you to be sorry. What I want is for you to be honest.”

“I know. And I will be. Whatever you want to know.”

“It’s not about what I want to know. It’s about you being honest with yourself. I asked my best friend a week before my wedding if I was making a mistake, and you didn’t say anything about how you felt. Why?”

“I guess I just thought telling you would be selfish.”

Juliet laughs, but there’s no humor in it. “Well, that worked out great.”

“I thought I was protecting you. But really, I was making the decision for you. I should’ve told you the truth years ago and let you decide what to do with it. I’m sorry.”

“Stop apologizing every five seconds.”

I close my mouth.

Juliet looks away, and for several moments, the only sound is the television playing quietly in the other room.

“How was Maui?”

Her eyes flash to mine. “The honeymoon I took alone?”

Stupid question.

“It was horrible. I had an oceanfront room. Fresh flowers sat on the bed, shaped like a heart. Champagne. A card congratulating Mr. and Mrs. Brooks.”

My heart twists. “Jules⁠—”

“I cried the first two days. Then I got mad.”

“At me?” My chin drops, prepping for the answer.

“At everyone. You. Vinny. Me. At the stupid hotel employee who asked where my husband was.”

I wince.

“I almost told him he died.”

A laugh escapes me before I can stop it. Juliet’s mouth twitches, but she fights the smile.

“I spent the entire week thinking about everything. And honestly, I keep wanting this to be your fault.”

Her words wipe away my smile.

“It would be easier if I could just blame everything on you. If I didn’t have to face what I did wrong. All the feelings I ignored.” Her shoulders lift. “And then Vinny came to me the night before the wedding and told me he thought we were making a mistake.”

I barely breathe.

I remember Vinny’s face at the rehearsal. The way he looked at me when he asked if there was any reason why he shouldn’t marry Juliet.

It all makes sense now.

“I completely dismissed him. Told him he was freaking out because of his dad. But I think I was really trying to convince myself, because I was scared. We were too far down the path to just call it all off. Spent too much money. Or at least, that’s what I thought.” She shakes her head. “So for as much as I want to blame this on you, I know it’s not all your fault.”

I don’t know what to say.

It wasn’t forgiveness, but not taking all the blame does help my guilt a little.

“That doesn’t mean that I’m not still mad at you and feel sick to my stomach every time I think of you and Vinny together.”