Page 120 of Never Not Friends

“Sit down.” She pulls out a stool and pats the top. “I’ll get out some graham crackers and milk. You used to love that late-night snack.”

I slip onto the stool, watching her as she moves around the kitchen. I glance at the pictures on the fridge of me and my little sisters. Growing up, the house was always full of family pictures, but that changed when my dad left.

She sets a plate and a glass of milk in front of me and takes the seat next to mine. “Did something happen with Juliet?”

My head shakes. “Not exactly.”

She waits. That’s one thing she’s always been good at.

I pick up a graham cracker and swirl it around in the milk. “I was just wondering if you had any doubts when you married Dad.”

“Not really. I was so sure of that decision.”

“But he left you.”

“Even then, I couldn’t deny how right marrying him felt at the time.” Mom’s expression changes. “Are you having doubts about Juliet?”

“I don’t know. Sometimes.”

She waits again.

“And then, when we went out the other night, Juliet told me that she’s had some doubts too. Before that, I just thought it was a me problem, you know? Some commitment anxiety that I’ve carried around since Dad left. But now that she’s felt it too, I’m freaking out a little.”

“What did she say when she told you she had some doubts?”

“She’s wondered if we got back together after college because it was easy, not because it was right. And she mentioned how different we are.”

“And how did that make you feel?”

“Terrible.” A sardonic laugh puffs out. “Confused.”

“Because of her doubts?”

“Because I’ve wondered the same thing.”

I peek at my mom, gauging her reaction. There’s a sadness around her eyes that makes me add, “I love Juliet.”

“I know you do.”

“We’ve been together forever.”

“I know.”

“And she fits right in with our family. I mean, she’s fun and the life of the party and generous.”

Mom watches me.

“So why am I sitting here, two days before our wedding, wondering if I’m making the biggest mistake of my life?”

She doesn’t answer immediately, just thinks for a moment. “How long have you been feeling this way?”

“I don’t know.”

“Yes, you do.”

My eyes meet hers. “A while. Since before I even proposed to her a year ago.”

Her eyebrows rise, giving away her surprise.