Page 46 of Cadell the Dragon

Rhun had not been the one dedicated to making her happy, Cadell had.

He cradled the back of her neck in his palms and brought his forehead to hers like he had that morning, the position unbearably intimate. “I know I have no right to kiss you, but, God forgive me, I need⁠—”

She kissed him before he could finish the sentence. They could not part without one last kiss, one last moment together. One last memory, to last them a lifetime. It would be all they were allowed to have. She could not refuse to take it.

“If this kiss between us be a sin, let me be the sinner,” she breathed against his lips, her breath mingling with his. She was the married one, he had done nothing wrong by loving her. “But know that kissing you will never feel like a sin to me.”

Only like what was meant to happen.

Their lips met in a kiss that fused their souls together. Cadell was holding her so tenderly that she tasted tears. Never had such an exquisite kiss felt more devastating.

Johanna clung to him, knowing that this was to be the last time they touched, that once she stepped away from his embrace, it would be over.

“I will leave on the morrow,” he said, sounding as hollow as if all the life had left his body.

Johanna didn’t say anything.

There was nothing to say.

13

She would never survive this parting.

As she watched Cadell hoist himself up on Haearn’s back early the following morning, Johanna could feel her life slowly ebb away from her.

Around them, the people of Bryn Glas looked on, brows knitted. God knew what they would be thinking. They all knew she and Cadell had been supposed to marry the day before, and yet here they were, watching him leave in what looked like a final farewell. No one had explained why the ceremony had not taken place, and the agony on both their faces would make it clear that this parting was not what they wanted.

To add to Johanna’s distress, because she was still a married woman and her husband was somewhere in the castle, even if no one knew it, she could not go to Cadell and tell him what she needed to tell him. That she had fallen in love with him and wished they could be together. She could not even throw herself into his arms, or kiss him one last time.

She had to behave as if they had not shared the most heartfelt kisses, the most scandalous caresses, as if their hearts did not beat in unison, as if they felt nothing for one another.

How was she going to survive this?

Panicked, she looked around the bailey. There had to be another solution, one she hadn’t thought of yet. Their story could not end this way. Their love deserved better.

Just when she thought she would run to Cadell and beg him to take her away, hooves were heard in the distance. More than a dozen horses, judging from the sound, had taken the path leading up to the castle and were coming this way.

Alarm spiked through Johanna before she could understand quite what worried her. And she could see that the people around her shared her alarm. Large retinues visiting unannounced could mean trouble and this one was riding at a good pace, as if they knew where they were going—and why.

It was not long before the group rode through the gate at a brisk trot, like men on a mission. A few words reached her ear, allowing her to establish that they were Englishmen. Suspicion sliced through her. What did they want? Had they somehow found out that Rhun was still alive? Had he been spotted entering the tunnel to come see her the other night, and betrayed again? Were the men here to demand his surrender? Could she claim ignorance of the fact that he had returned, like all the servants would? What would happen to the castle then? Would it be burned to the ground in retaliation?

Johanna forced herself to calm. Appearing nervous would be the worst thing to do right now. She needed to behave as if she had no idea why the men were here.

Cadell dismounted.

He could not leave now that a retinue of hardened Englishmen had entered Bryn Glas, determination etched all over their faces. Having trained to be a knight from a young age, even if in the end he had been robbed of his rightful place in the world, he was the only one who could defend the castle if need be. Not that he would be able to do much alone against a dozen men at arms if they were bent on trouble.

But he could at least stay and find out what was happening, show that the place was not deserted.

The man at the head of the retinue nudged his horse forward and planted himself in front of him. He had clearly assumed he was the one in charge.

“Good morning. I am Sir Hubert de Camoys.”

Was this name supposed to mean something to him? It did not. Cadell waited, certain the man would not leave it at that.

“My men and I are heading west, to a place called Anglesey.” Ah yes, the island the Welsh still called Ynys Môn. “The king, in his generosity, has bestowed me some land there and I am on my way to claim my new domain.”

Cadell’s shoulders relaxed marginally. Perhaps it was not as bad as he’d first thought. Perhaps the men were simply after a rest and a meal before carrying on in their journey along the coast.