Page 30 of Cadell the Dragon

“Please tell her it’s all right, and we will give them privacy now,” she murmured.

Cadell could tell she was fighting tears and did not want to cry in front of everyone. Before he had finished translating her words, she had disappeared through the door.

By the time she reached the top of the battlements, Johanna’s cheeks were streaked with the tears she had barely been able to contain in front of the others. Seeing the lovers’ reunion had been beautiful, but it had hit her harder than she had expected.

After such an emotional moment, she needed fresh air and time to think.

Though in truth it had been fate placing Richard in their path, and Cadell had been the one handling the reunion just now, she could not help but think that bringing the man and his sweetheart together was one of the proudest moments of her life. The sincere gratitude in Efa’s eyes when she had thanked her had touched her deeply and knowing that the babe nestled in the maid’s womb would grow up with a loving father had been a relief.

Johanna placed a hand on her own stomach, feeling rather envious of the happiness awaiting the girl at the birth of her child. Would she ever know that joy herself? It seemed more doubtful than ever. She was one and thirty already, and a widow. Not that her ten years of marriage to Rhun had made a mother out of her… Almost, but not quite.

Not quite. Yes. That was the problem.

Before the familiar wave of nausea could overwhelm her, the sound of footsteps brought her back to the present. Then the deep voice washing over her soothed her senses further.

“Are you all right, my lady?”

Grateful for an interruption which had stopped her from drowning in sorrow, Johanna turned around. Cadell was looking at her from the top of the wooden ladder. She almost ran to him before checking the impulse. Why did she feel like throwing herself into his arms, like Efa had done with Richard? Because, in truth, even though she would never admit to it out loud, much less to him, in that moment, she didn’t feel all right. She felt even more wretched than when she had heard Rhun had died, even more alone than she had during those tedious days spent waiting for a husband who did not worry about her, even more helpless than when she had been told⁠—

No. She would never think of that moment again. She had sworn it to herself years ago and for the most part, she had managed to abide by the promise. This unfortunate lapse was due to seeing Efa and Richard being reunited, she was sure of it.

“I’ll be fine,” she said quietly, knowing there was no point pretending she had not cried. Cadell would have seen her tears, and she was not ashamed of her emotions. “But I’ll admit that seeing the lovers together at last moved me more than I thought it would. I’m so happy for them.”

“So am I. There is something profoundly satisfying in seeing two people who were meant to be together finally able to fulfill their destiny. It is as if order was restored.”

Something in the way Cadell said those words made Johanna cock her head. There had been so much feeling in his voice… For the first time since he’d found her in the woods the day of the storm, she wondered at his situation. Because he had so readily offered to stay at Bryn Glas, she had concluded that he was not married. And as a result, she had assumed there was no one special in his life. Had she been wrong? Was there a woman in his heart, someone from whom he had been separated? It would explain his reaction when seeing Richard and Efa’s reunion. But she knew she would never dare ask him the question. It was too personal.

And she shouldn’t really care.

“I was about to go see Old Cadwgan and inform him that we now have a stone mason at Bryn Glas,” Cadell told her, taking a step forward. “I’m sure he will be relieved to hear it. Will you come with me?”

He wanted her to get involved when surely it would have been easier to just see to it himself, without having to translate everything all the time. Could she refuse and tell him the truth? That she was tempted to go lie on her bed and cry? No, she could not. She didn’t even have a bed to speak of at the moment, only a pallet in the solar. But feeling sorry for herself was not an option. She was lucky enough to have someone forcing her to do what needed to be done, someone preventing her from drowning in despair, someone doing his best to alleviate the solitude she had endured for so long, it would be foolish and ungrateful not to make the most of it.

“Thank you, I will come,” she said, accepting the hand he had stretched out to her.

When their fingers touched, Johanna felt something like a jolt shoot up her arm. Recognition? Pleasure? Bewildered, she stared at Cadell. Had he felt the same thing? His earlier words came back to her.

There is something profoundly satisfying in seeing two people who were meant to be together finally able to fulfill their destiny. It is as if order was restored.

Was he… Could he be thinking of⁠—

He spoke before she could fully form the scandalous idea in her mind.

“Come, my lady. We have work to do.”

Over the next few weeks, life at Bryn Glas fell into a pleasant rhythm.

Since the arrival of the servants from Castell Esgyrn, everything had taken a turn for the best. Though he was barely able to converse with them, Richard’s arrival had helped the people accept the idea that not all Englishmen—and by extension, all Englishwomen—were cruel invaders determined to consider them lower than dirt. They were impressed by the stone mason’s commitment to Efa, who was well-liked at the castle, and they felt ashamed at the treatment their countrymen had inflicted on a young man ready to renounce his old life to come settle in Wales.

Thanks to this new positive atmosphere, Johanna had overcome her wretchedness and she was throwing herself with relish into the task of restoring the castle to what it should be.

The days were spent overseeing the various repairs and getting to know the servants. The evenings were dedicated to Welsh lessons. While they ate alone in the great hall, Cadell helped her improve her knowledge of his language. Under his patient tutelage, and building on what she had already picked up with Rhun, Johanna made good progress.

As to the nights… The nights were her favorite moments. As soon as she buried herself into the pallet next to Cadell, she felt at peace. Three nights ago she had finally dared do what she had been itching to do for days and had nestled herself in his arms. At first, she had worried that he would push her away but to her relief, he had let out a low exhale and then closed his arms around her. Why should they resist something that was clearly giving both of them pleasure?

As a widow, she was not beholden to the same rules as an unmarried maiden—not that anyone knew of their arrangement, of course. The people still thought Cadell slept in the little room by the solar, on the pallet he’d made for himself the night of the storm. But she had the impression she would not have been able to resist the impulse to share a bed with him even if everyone had known the truth. With him, she felt at ease, able to be herself without judgment.

Special.