Page 20 of Cadell the Dragon

What was it? All sorts of possibilities crossed Johanna’s mind, each more worrying than the next. Had Efa slept with Rhun when he visited Bryn Glas? Did she feel guilty now that she was meeting his wife? Had she stolen something and feared being found out? Had she made a mistake that would see her punished?

“I would like to—” Johanna started in Welsh, already knowing she would never be able to finish her sentence.

I would like to know why you flee every time you see me.

The two women stared at one another. Then someone called Efa in the distance. With a swift curtsy, she ran away, looking relieved to have an excuse to go.

Johanna shook her head. She would have to ask for Cadell’s help again, and get to the bottom of this. Having people ignoring and resenting her had not been pleasant. Having such a young girl fearing her was awful. She was certain she could set Efa’s mind at rest, whatever the issue was, if she could talk to her and find out what was bothering her.

In the end, she didn’t need Cadell to understand what secret the girl was keeping.

That same afternoon, as she walked into the dilapidated enclosure that had once been a rose garden, Johanna heard soft crying. The sound was heartbreaking and evidently came from a woman. She stopped in her tracks, wondering what to do. Should she retreat and leave whoever had taken refuge there to her sorrow? Already knowing she would worry herself sick if she didn’t at least try to find out who was in trouble, she carefully took a step forward.

Huddled in the corner, away from the vicious wind, were two female figures. One was none other than Efa, the other the stout matron who had reassured her during Cadell’s harangue that morning. She was murmuring soft words of comfort to Efa, who was crying, her face hidden with one hand while the other hugged her stomach.

Her rounded stomach.

This time there was no pile of linen hiding her midriff, and Johanna saw what she imagined was the cause of the girl’s distress.

Dear God, Efa was with child. A terrible thought exploded through her mind. Could it be… Could it be Rhun’s baby? The blood froze in Johanna’s veins. Efa was not worried because she had stolen something from Bryn Glas but rather because she had enjoyed something she had no right to. Her master’s affection.

Or… Was it even worse than that? Had Rhun been the one taking something he had no right to? Had he assaulted the little maid during one of his visits to Bryn Glas? By the looks of things, Efa appeared to be at least four or five months gone. Rhun had died three months ago so it was possible that he was the father of this child. But had it been imposed on its mother? That was what Johanna needed to know.

Bile rose in her throat and she knew she would know no peace until she knew the answer to that question.

On unsteady legs, she went to find Cadell, whom she’d spotted on the battlements earlier, talking to Old Cadwgan. As soon as she appeared, the steward nodded and climbed back down the wooden ladder, leaving the two of them alone. She imagined that one look at her had made her turmoil clear and the man had no wish to remain in an awkward situation. Cadell, to her relief, did not seem so easily cowed, though his question made it clear he had not missed her agitation either.

“What is it?” he asked, coming closer.

“I need your help, once again. It’s…a delicate matter.”

“Anything. Come.”

He led her toward the corner tower, as if to ensure they could not be overheard, even if the chances that anyone would pay attention to them were slim. Once he’d brought her to where he wanted her, he kept his hand on the small of her back. This gesture and the comfort it brought her helped Johanna to remain calm.

“What is it?” Cadell repeated. “You know you can be honest with me.”

She did know that. After her outburst the day before, when she had admitted her doubts and fears, she knew she could rely on him not to judge her. The way he had taken over the management of the castle proved that he was willing to help. And after their kiss, she knew she could trust him.

He was now a man who counted in her life, a man she could confide in and rely on. In any case, she had no choice. Who else could she talk to?

“It’s about Efa. I think I know why she is being difficult. She is with child.”

He cocked his head, as if indicating he didn’t understand why being with child should make the girl wary of her. “She is?”

This was not a real question, but rather encouragement to carry on. So she did.

“I saw her just now. She was crying in the arms of the woman who stood by her this morning in the bailey and her stomach was very visibly swollen.” Johanna swallowed, finally reaching to the heart of the matter. “I will need your help because I want to ask her about the child she is carrying, and find out…who the father is.”

A long silence followed. She could not tell Cadell why it mattered so much to her. It was too personal. But he seemed to understand it nonetheless. She should have known he would. The man was nothing if not astute.

“I see,” he said, proving that he had been right to think that he was the perfect person to confide in. “You fear this might be Rhun’s child. Do you have any reason to doubt his loyalty?”

“N-no.” Until that moment she had not, at least.

“You don’t sound so sure.”

That was because she was not so sure. Or rather, because she wasn’t sure she was ready to find out just how wrong she had been about her husband. Had he gone to other women? Had he forced them to his will? Because of his lack of interest in having marital relations with her in the last few years and his utter devotion to “the Welsh Cause,” she had assumed women were not something he needed in his life.