Page 16 of Cadell the Dragon

She stilled and looked up at him. “You do?”

That she could doubt what had been the only constant in his life for ten years was like a blow to the chest. There was only one way to show her how much he did want her.

Gazing into Johanna’s eyes, Cadell lowered his head and captured her mouth. Christ’s bones, at last he was kissing the woman he loved.

Only, if he were honest, he would have to admit that this was not a kiss, it was so much more.

Cadell groaned when Johanna’s sweet lips touched his. This was what he had dreamed about for as long as he could remember, exquisite. By the time she’d softened, opening her mouth for a deeper possession, every nerve ending in his body had caught on fire. In that moment, had someone told him that his body had exploded, he would have believed it. That was what it felt like. This first kiss with her, after so many years of craving it, felt like the first kiss of his life. The only meaningful one.

He tightened his hold around her waist, he nibbled at her lips, he sucked on her tongue, he did everything he had dreamed of doing and quite a few things he had never thought to do, like rub his nose against hers. It could have felt ridiculous, but it just felt right. All the while, he groaned. This was good, so good that he never wanted it to end, so good that he wasn’t sure how he was going to stop himself from claiming more.

A crack of thunder suddenly split through the tension. Johanna muffled a scream against his mouth. Their lips parted and she stared at him, panting slightly. Reality came crashing back. Dear God, what had he done? He had kissed her.

She had wanted comfort, and instead of offering it, he had kissed her with shocking intensity.

“I’m sorry,” he started, panicked. He had meant to take things slowly, not devour her. “It won’t happen again, I swear. Only I… You said…”

“Thank you,” she said, cutting through his fumbled explanations. “I needed that.”

Cadell’s heart sank. It was not quite the declaration he had hoped to hear after the best kiss of his life, but it was better than nothing. At least she was not horrified and she had not thrown him out, screaming at him for taking advantage of her moment of vulnerability.

Not sure it was a good idea to remain seated with her on his lap, Cadell made to stand up. Johanna stopped him with a hand on his shoulder.

“Don’t go. Stay with me. Please. Sleep here tonight. I’ve asked for a pallet to be brought up and Ffion actually did it,” she said, nodding to what looked like a comfortable straw bed nestled in the corner.

Cadell sighed. He suddenly felt weary to the bone and desperate to sink into the pallet’s welcoming softness. The only problem was, he wasn’t sure he would be able to handle Johanna’s proximity. “I… If you’re sure, I⁠—”

“I am. It’s too late for you to leave anyway and I’m scared of the storm.”

How about the storm in his blood? Shouldn’t she fear it? Would he be able to sleep with her next to him and not touch her? No, not just touch, he amended privately, but caress, lick, and worship every inch of her?

“I will stay,” he finally agreed. What else could he say? He would regret it all his life if he did not seize this opportunity. “But we need to get you out of these wet clothes, and warm you before you get into bed.”

She nodded. “You as well.”

Damnation, he was wet as well, though not as much as she was.

“I can keep my shirt on,” he decided, “’tis only my tunic that’s⁠—”

“I’m not worried.”

No, maybe not, but he was. Especially knowing that he might have to help her get out of her drenched clothes and into the dry ones. “How is your wrist?” he asked, hoping she would tell him she was able to get changed without him.

“Better. I hardly feel it now. If you just turned around, I will⁠—”

“Actually, I have forgotten to tell Cadwgan something,” he cut in, knowing that he would never be able to stay in the room while she undressed. “I will do that while you get changed, give you some privacy.”

Leaving and only coming back once she was safely hidden under the covers was the best solution, the only way to remain sane. Besides, he needed to ask for bedding and furs and let it be known that he would bed down in the small room at the back of the solar. No one in the castle should be allowed to guess that he would actually lie down next to their mistress.

“I will knock three times when I come back. If you’re not ready by then, just tell me to wait.”

“Very well. Thank you.”

Cadell made sure to stay as long as he could with Cadwgan. Outside, the storm was still raging. Johanna was right in saying that he could not go home in this weather, so at least no one would question his reasons for staying the night at Bryn Glas.

All too soon, he was standing in front of the solar door, ready to knock.

One two three.