Page 31 of Cousin Conundrum

Mrs. Archer chuckled. “Everything hereabouts is so very quaint.”

“Yes,” Miss Archer agreed. “And cozy.”

They truly enjoyed that word, it seemed. Kitty made certain to give no reaction. Instead, she cast her attention to Miss Mabel, the only one of the six not to speak yet, to find she gazed out the window, paying their conversation no mind.

“Do you have any sights, then?” Miss Edith asked. “Any natural wonders?”

“We have Oakham Mount. We will pass the trail leading there momentarily.” Kitty gestured to her left. “It offers a lovely view of the countryside. It is the highest point for miles.”

Miss Mabel turned from the window, her nose wrinkled. “Yes. I have noted that Hertfordshire is remorsefully flat.”

Kitty stared at her. What could she say to that?

“Now, now, Mabel.” Mrs. Archer’s smile was warmer than those of her daughters. More genuine. She likely had more practice at pretense, being older. “Hertfordshire has considerable charm.” Mrs. Archer cast her middle child an indulgent look. “Our Mabel is a great one for country walks.”

“My sister Elizabeth enjoys walking,” Kitty offered.

“Miss Elizabeth is the shortest one with the dark hair?”

Kitty nodded, though she cared for Miss Mabel’s description not at all.

“I doubt she would be able to keep pace with me.”

“Fordyce recommends a sedate stride for a proper young lady,” Mr. Collins stated. “I should be happy to read from him for your benefit, my fair cousins.”

Mabel stared at him flatly for a moment, then turned her attention back out the window.

“Oh, yes, you must read for us, Mr. Collins.” Cat fluttered her lashes at him as she spoke.

Kitty drew his attention to her with, “And as you have already offered to read for us, Mr. Collins, you must practice more on me and my sisters. That way you can provide Mrs. Archer and her daughters a rehearsed reading. I am certain they are accustomed to very high standards and will look quite severely on anything less than perfection.”

His face took on a satisfyingly worried look.

“You will have our cousin believing us to be such monsters, Miss Kitty,” Miss Edith said on a laugh.

Before Kitty could reply, Miss Archer added, “How fortunate for you, Cousin, that the Bennet sisters have so little exposure to quality as to be such indifferent listeners on whom you might practice.”

“Yes,” Mr. Collins agreed affably. “My patroness, Lady Catherine de Bourgh, has often pointed out to me that I am fortunate to speak to such unsullied minds as are found in my parishioners as well.”

Cat inched closer to him, as if she were not already by his side. “Is it difficult, imparting knowledge into such uninitiated minds?”

“Very,” he said, his expression grave. “At times, I fear little I say finds its way into their thoughts.”

“Then it is good that you have your Bennet cousins on whom to practice.” Cat leaned forward to aim a smirk at Kitty.

Kitty smiled back, working to remember that she did not even want Mr. Collins. Cat could have him.

But the idea of Cat as mistress of Longbourn rankled.

“Will we see you and your sisters, and dear Mrs. Bennet, at the assembly then?” Mrs. Archer asked.

Kitty wrenched her gaze free of Cat’s smugness. “I believe so, even though Mama does not care for the crush of a September assembly, as the weather tends to remain warm.”

“Yes. It is often difficult for women of your mother’s…” Mrs. Archer paused, searching for a word. “Presence, shall we say, to endure heat.”

Had Mrs. Archer just called Kitty’s mother fat? Why, if they were men, Kitty would challenge Mrs. Archer.

Would two women dueling over a man make a good caricature? What line would bring out the humor?