Page 28 of Cousin Conundrum

“She means you to marry one of those ghastly redheads of hers,” Mrs. Bennet exclaimed, catching up to them. “She wishes not only a Collins, but an Archer in Longbourn.”

“They looked far too fine for Longbourn,” Mary said stiffly. “And far too vain for a clergyman. ‘I have seen everything that is done under the sun, and behold, all is vanity and a striving after wind.’”

“I will no longer be a clergyman once I am master here. It would not be appropriate.”

That earned Mr. Collins several flat stares.

“I believe it is time to change for supper,” Mr. Bennet said into the ensuing silence, though it remained early to do so.

Of accord, they all rose and left the room, Kitty following Lydia to theirs. Predictably, her sister set to babbling about the Archers’ gowns and their hair and their height. Kitty attempted to pay enough attention to be able to murmur acceptable responses, her mind on Mr. Collins’ other cousins as well.

Had they come so that one of them might marry him? Or, perhaps, to evaluate Longbourn and decide if one of them should marry him? If so, she hoped they found her home too ‘cozy’ to trouble with.

Not that she wanted to marry Mr. Collins. Or wanted any of her sisters to. He seemed rather pompous. Still, as Jane said, if one of them did, all of their troubles regarding the entail and someday being cast from their home would be over. But if one of the Archers married him, Kitty had a feeling that all of their troubles had only just begun.

Chapter Nine

Summoned by a maid, Elizabeth left off reading in her father’s study to join her mother and sisters in the front parlor. She entered and took her usual seat with Jane, relieved to find Mr. Collins absent. He’d only been with them for the lesser part of a week, but already she knew she could not abide his company.

Rather than sit, Mrs. Bennet stood before the low tea table, looking them over for a moment. “I have decided one of you must marry Mr. Collins.”

Elizabeth snapped her jaw closed over her shock. “The man is odious.”

Mary swiveled to glare at her. “You should speak with greater respect about a clergyman and our guest.”

Elizabeth met her sister’s gaze calmly. “I should, yes, were he worthy of such treatment.”

“It cannot be Jane or Lydia,” Mrs. Bennet continued, not seeming to notice Elizabeth’s exchange with Mary. “I am certain that once we meet Mr. Bingley, he will choose either Jane or Lydia.”

A now all too familiar knot formed in Elizabeth’s gut at that. Stop, she silently ordered. She did not even know if Mr. Bingley and her mysterious gentleman were one and the same.

“Miss King said she heard from the butcher that Mr. Bingley will attend the next assembly, and bring guests,” Lydia said, sitting forward eagerly.

Elizabeth’s heartbeat hastened to a dizzying pace at the prospect. A vision of her carriage-gentleman filled her mind.

“Oh, I do despise a September assembly.” Mrs. Bennet issued a dramatic sigh. “It is so warm still in September. Better for Mr. Bingley to have arrived next month.”

“But we must attend, Mama.” Lydia looked about in something near panic. “I must meet Mr. Bingley if I am to marry him.”

Struggling to put a ridiculous surge of envy from her, Elizabeth murmured, “That would be the proper order of events.” She cast a quick look at Jane to share her mirth, only to find her older sister’s face downturned, her cheeks pale.

“Do you think the Archers will attend?” Kitty asked.

“We can hope a country assembly would be too cozy for their liking.” Elizabeth grinned, using her wit to hide her ever-growing fear that Jane was in love with her carriage-gentleman.

“I hope they do attend, so we may learn more about them, as they are our relations through Mr. Collins.” Mary pushed her spectacles up on her nose. “‘Love one another with brotherly affection. Outdo one another in showing honor.’ That is, if we are to go, Mama?”

“Certainly, we will attend. It seems we must, as Mr. Bennet does not see fit to do his duty and bring Mr. Bingley to us.” Mrs. Bennet brought balled hands to her hips. “And in the meantime…” Her gaze went from Elizabeth, to Mary, to Kitty. “Kitty, you must attempt to attract Mr. Collins.”

Kitty stared up at their mother in horror.

“Kitty cannot marry Mr. Collins.” Lydia shook her head as she spoke. “Kitty wishes to marry an officer. You know that, Mama.”

“Do you see an officer?” Mrs. Bennet made a show of looking about. “Do any of you know an officer? Short of a militia being stationed in Meryton—”

“We could go to Brighton,” Lydia broke in eagerly. “There are many officers there.”

“—none of you is going to meet an officer.”