Page 104 of Cousin Conundrum

“Yes.” Mr. Collins nodded sagely. “Quite despicable.”

“‘Extortion turns a wise person into a fool,’” Mary added.

“I do not believe Miss Laura did the actual extorting,” Charlotte said. “And the papers say she has given testimony against her mother and sisters, so the Crown is inclined to lenience.”

“Lenience? The Crown would keep that horrible child on English soil?” Mrs. Bennet demanded.

Charlotte turned to her. “I believe it is some sort of archaic form of assurance. Miss Laura will be raised here, subject to punishment if any of her relations attempt to depart from Queen Maria’s court.”

That poor girl, Elizabeth thought. But then, perhaps Miss Laura would be happier away from her family. They seemed rather awful. “Who will raise her?”

Charlotte shrugged. “I have not heard. They say she will be a ward of the Crown.”

“So she will live in the palace?” Lydia cried. “That is no punishment.”

Elizabeth wasn’t so certain.

Tilly returned then, along with one of the kitchen maids, and they set out tea. Fortunately, Mrs. Bennet chose to serve. Elizabeth did not have the energy.

Charlotte accepted her tea and immediately set it down. She cast Mr. Collins a nervous look. “Speculation about what may befall the Archers is not the only reason we have called. Mr. Collins and I have news.” She held out a hand to their cousin.

Not seeming to notice, Mr. Collins frowned about the room. “Yes. Wonderful news. The most wonderful of outcomes indeed.” His frown deepened. “Although my esteemed patroness, Lady Catherine de Bourgh, wished me to put right the entail in which Longbourn is held, my attempts to woo one of my Archer cousins have proven…ah…” He looked to Charlotte for help.

Charlotte took Mr. Collins’ hand, causing him to look down at their clasped fingers in surprise.

Elizabeth was too saddened to see Charlotte clasp Mr. Collins’ hand, and too mired in misery, to point out that marrying an Archer wouldn’t have done anything to repair the entail, even were there actually female Archers of age, which there were not.

“What Mr. Collins means is that my ministrations in the wake of the ordeal he endured at the hands of his false cousins won his heart, and he has asked me to be his wife.”

In the wake of Charlotte’s words, silence filled the room.

Elizabeth should say something. She knew she should. Charlotte turned to her, a guarded, yet hopeful, look on her face. Elizabeth opened her mouth.

“What treachery is this?” Mrs. Bennet cried. “You reside under our roof, professing to want to marry one of my daughters, and then propose to Charlotte Lucas?” She jabbed a finger in Mr. Collins direction. “Out. I want you out of my house.”

“I believe you will find that Longbourn is more mine than yours, dear lady, and—”

Mrs. Bennet surged to her feet. “Out. Both of you.”

Charlotte cast Elizabeth a distressed look. Mary, Kitty, and Lydia gaped, staring at their mother and their guests with wide eyes.

Elizabeth rubbed at her wrists, the gesture nervous. She drew in a deep breath, attempting to rally to something of her usual self. “Mama, Charlotte and Mr. Collins can hardly be blamed f—”

“And you.” Mrs. Bennet rounded on her. “How you could ruin an engagement so quickly, I will never know. You are fortunate I do not turn you out as well. The moment Jane is married, I am going to live with her so I do not have to endure the sight of my most ungrateful daughter.”

Elizabeth’s tiredness returned tenfold. Far from aiding Charlotte, she’d instead inspired her mother to torment Jane.

“Would it not make more sense for Lizzy to go live with Jane and Mr. Bingley?” Kitty asked, casting Elizabeth a sympathetic grimace.

“Reward her for losing Mr. Darcy?” Mrs. Bennet huffed. “I think not.”

“Oh, but why can I not go?” Lydia cried.

“‘A heart at peace gives life to the body, but envy rots the bones,’” Mary intoned.

“Rot your bones, Mary,” Lydia snapped.

Mrs. Bennet, Kitty, and Charlotte all spoke at once.