Page 77 of My Forever Sin

I can’t help the mild heat that rises to my cheeks when I think about Dorrian having caught his siblings… No, I don’t even want to think about it.

Gross.

I was left in Father Michaels’ sacristy to clean up, and apparently, this place hasn’t been dusted in decades because my nose is relentlessly itching, and I must have sneezed more than I have in my twenty-three years of being alive.

If you could even call it living.

Piling a small stack of bibles neatly on the corner of the desk, a chest of drawers catches my eye. One that looks completely untouched. There’s keyholes in the centre of each drawer, and I pray as I walk up to it that they’re unlocked. There has to be cult evidence somewhere. And I could bet any money it’s going to be here.

“How many times have I told you I don't want to be involved in your cultist shit?”

I shake my head free from Kain’s words. I don’t want to think about the way my thoughts are suddenly veering the other way. That maybe Kain isn’t like them. Or the fact I’m so rage-blind I’m ignoring every sign in front of me.

Hooking my finger through the metal handle, I pull, making the contents of the wooden structure rattle, but it doesn’t open.

“Shit,” I curse under my breath. I whip back around to the large oak desk, glancing at the closed door to make sure no one heard.

I thread my finger through another drawer and the wood opens with a hush. It’s unstable as I let go of it to comb through endless papers and random rosaries.

Nothing.

I don’t lose hope yet because there’s still three others. I don’t suppose it’s going to be easy to look for, but it’s as good a chance as any.

Footsteps begin approaching, and I scarcely manage to shut the drawer just as the door opens and I snap my spine straight.

“Preparations are happening as scheduled…” Father Michaels’ voice trails off as he walks in with Lacey and notices me standing behind his desk.

“Jordie.” He smiles, while Lacey scrutinises me from head to toe. My nostrils flare at the sight of their smug faces, memories of that night rushing through my head. My fingers twitch with the need to pounce on Lacey, rip her fucking hair out—

“What are you doing in here?” Michaels’ eyes bounce between me and the desk, and as he walks further into the room, he quickly glances at the drawers. It’s a very brief glance that any other person would have missed.

I plaster on a synthetic smile as I grab the feather wand off the desk and continue dusting. “I’ve been asked to clean the sacristy. It looked like it needed it.”

Lacey follows in behind him, tight jeans and an even tighter revealing top hugging all her curves.

“Thank you for that, child. If you don’t mind, Lacey and I have things to discuss about her and Kain’s future.” Father Michaels rounds the desk, his musty scent mixing with the natural scent of the church. I begin to back away, when all I really want to do is rip his eyeballs out of his sockets for looking at me with his predatory gaze.

My blood pressure is through the roof right now.

“Of course.” I ensure to put a bit of extra stutter into my voice for effect.

The clicking of my boots is loud as I exit the room and shroud myself in the darkness of the hallway as I click the door shut. I move, but reverse when I hear voices coming from behind the door and press my ear to it. It’s hard to make out what they’re saying, almost as if the door has been soundproofed on purpose. My eyes struggle in the darkness and begin playing tricks on me as I strain to listen. I swear a shadow moves before a hot breath tickles my neck.

I shiver and as I’m about to take off again—because I cannot hear shit—a voice strokes my ear. “What are you doing here?”

I know that voice all too well—the one that used to whisper sweet nothings into my ear to fall asleep before I had to go home again.

I spin, pressing him up against the wall, my finger falling against his warm lips. “Shhhh,” I hiss harshly.

His breath hitches in the quiet. I can hardly see him but there’s a faint outline of his head. I tilt my head pointedly to the side, and Father Michaels’ and Lacey’s voices drift in with a mumble.

I’m all too aware of how my body is pressing against his, the softness of his lips against my finger, and the gentle citrusy scent travelling to my senses. My pussy pulses at the sheer proximity. How long can I let Kain be my escape from reliving every memory from that convent? My body is still not my own, not until I stop letting Kain touch me and reclaim it myself. But how when I’m still letting my abusers do whatever they like with me without fighting back.

I falter. My head swims with pent up rage, and I push off him, strutting into the church. The red hue of the windows burns my eyes as I finally reach daylight.

“Jordie.” He’s right behind me, like fucking always. He’s a constant shadow at my back even when there’s no sunshine. A constant reminder of what he’s put me through.

He’s a distraction now.