Page 54 of My Forever Sin

Asher snorts at Blake. “For you. I get a great fucking high from it. I swear I saw Blake floating at one point.”

Blake shakes his head.

“How the fuck are they getting hold of it?” I ask.

“They have dealers.” Blake shrugs. “Want some?” He extends the burning stick towards me, gracefully flipping the butt end with his fingers to make it easier to grab.

I shouldn’t… but ‘relaxing’ and ‘me’ sound like a great fucking combination right now, which is why I sit up and take it from him. The herby scent fills my nose as I place it between my lips and take a long drag, letting the smoke crawl down to my lungs. To mine—and the guys—surprise, I don’t cough it up, which is what I heard happened with first time smokers. And since I’ve never done this before I was bracing for a coughing fit.

The herby sting lingers in my senses as I blow the smoke out.

“Shit, K, have you done this before?” Asher laughs, peeling the joint away from my fingers as I hand it to him.

Shaking my head, I squint my eyes at the new sensations beginning to cloud my mind. “I didn’t even know this shit existed until now.”

Asher whistles. “Imagine what else their dealers might have if this is what weed does.”

The world starts slowing to a crawl, and it feels like a weighted blanket is being laid over my body, dulling the chaotic thoughts.

It’s quiet for the first time.

So, so quiet.

“We need to get you eating and into the gym,” Asher starts. “Sorry, K, but I’m not taking on your family by myself trying to find Jordie.”

A laugh starts bubbling, and though there’s nothing remotely funny about the current state of my life, I can’t force it down. It comes out like a steam train breaking through a brick wall.

“What the fuck is in that?” I say through fits of laughter.

Blake’s face scrunches together as he massages the bridge of his nose. “You got the stronger shit this time, didn’t you?”

Asher seems to be finding my new state entertaining because he’s grinning at me like a Cheshire cat.

Is his smile growing outside of his face?

“I didn’t know one hit would fuck him up this bad. K, have you had food?” Asher takes another drag, still smiling, as he inhales.

It’s like I’m floating away from the bed. I grip at the sheets, suddenly feeling like the ground has collapsed from under my feet and fall backwards onto the bed, laughing uncontrollably as the high hits its peak.

For the first time in seven days, I feel relaxed.

My best friend's voices are a mumble as the chandelier on the ceiling morphs into different shapes as thoughts of nothing rush through my head.

“Holy shit.” I laugh. This sedated state of mind is something I could get used to. Something that could help me forget that Jordie hates me. Maybe it’ll make finding her easier.

Asher’s grinning face replaces the chandelier, his curly disarray of hair dangling from his forehead. His lips are moving, but I can’t hear what he’s saying.

“Okay, Asher.” I laugh, patting his cheek a few times with a numb hand. He slaps his forehead before he disappears from my line of sight.

I don’t know how long I’ve been here laughing to myself; it could be weeks for all I know. I’ve never felt euphoria this intense before, it’s like every single life problem has been pushed to the back of my mind. I’m vaguely aware of it—I know what I need to do—but I’m not panicking about it. Not like before.

Something smells fucking delicious.

Oh, my fucking God, I’m starving.

Blake’s voice becomes a little more legible now.

“Mate, you’re gonna have to get up.” Blake’s black head of hair comes into focus as he pulls me up by my arm, but it feels like my body has forgotten how to function.