Page 55 of Bear’s House

Daddy gave him a look again, and right about then Mikey wandered in, wearing nothing but a diaper, a pacifier in the corner of his mouth, and carrying the new moth plushie he'd gotten from Daddy. I felt a little jealous of that moth and wanted it for myself, but when I'd tried to grab it before, Mikey had shrieked, and Daddy had gotten onto me about it. I was already skating close to the edge — couldn't keep pushing it, or I might actually earn myself a real punishment, like getting grounded and banned from The Hearth for a week, which would be a disaster since Max and I had already made plans to go that coming weekend. And I was still talking to my friend Bella, even though what Sawyer had said about that whole thing kept nagging at me. But I knew Sawyer would change his mind once he saw there was no problem with it at all.

Thinking about that reminded me of my plan — I needed to fill Mikey in on everything. So I asked him: "How babyish are you feeling today?"

He was sucking on his pacifier, but he answered me — a miracle.

"You wanna play with me?" he asked.

I was glad he wasn't nonverbal, so we could actually talk. I nodded and looked at Daddy, waiting for approval. He smiled.

"Perfect. That's exactly how I want my boys. Playing and being friends. Sawyer, you're joining in too. You need some time with your brothers and a break from your video games."

Sawyer opened his mouth to grumble, but Daddy gave him a look, and Sawyer always folded with just one look from Daddy. This time was no different.

"Yes, Sir," he said.

"Good," Daddy said.

After lunch, all three of us gathered in my room. I'd invited Mikey to come check out my toy-car collection, which really was left over from my childhood — I'd kept those cars my whole life, even through the years when people tried to make me stop playing with them during my teens and early adulthood, telling me it was weird and that I was already grown and shouldn't play with that stuff anymore. Thankfully, finding the kink community had taught me that none of that was true. You could enjoy whatever made you happy as long as you weren't hurting anyone or forcing them to participate. So now I played with my cars whenever I wanted, and they were spread across the floor along with my Hot Wheels car wash track.

Mikey sat down in front of it and started putting the track together. I smiled. Sawyer was lowering himself onto the floor, still a little grumpy, and pulled out his phone — but I said:

"Daddy said you're supposed to play with us. I'm telling him you're on your phone."

He grumbled, rolled his eyes, but gave in, coming all the way down to the floor and sitting beside us, sticking the phone in his pocket.

"I have something to tell you guys," I said quietly.

Daddy probably wasn't going to love hearing this conversation. Better if we kept our voices down — I just didn't tell them that part, or Sawyer would definitely rat me out.

"What are you talking about, JJ?" Sawyer asked.

"You know Max and Dominic?" The two of them got a lot more interested in the conversation right away. "I want to help Max get a scene. He told me on the call that he really wants to do one with Dominic, but he's scared he'll chicken out before he even manages to put his name down for anything. He told me that if there's a volunteer sign-up at Halloween and he freezes, I have permission to put his name down for him."

Sawyer's eyes narrowed immediately.

"He actually said that? Specifically?"

"Yes," I said. "Specifically. I'm not just volunteering him for kinky stuff without asking."

"Okay," Sawyer said, relaxing slightly. "And Dominic?"

"I'm not signing Dominic up for anything," I said. "I'm not suicidal. I want to talk to Gustav, tell him Max gave me permission to put his name down if he panics, and then Gustav can ask Dominic separately if he's interested. If Dominic says no, that's it."

Mikey had been quietly connecting pieces of the track, but now he looked up.

"JJ, are you sure Max actually wants you helping this much? Maybe he wants to work up the courage himself."

"Yes," I said. "We literally talked about it today. He said he wants help, he just doesn't want me to embarrass him in front of Dominic."

"That sounds difficult for you," Sawyer said. I gave him a dirty look.

"Ha-ha."

Mikey giggled around his pacifier.

"You remember your first time being little in public?" I asked him. "That was scary, wasn't it?"

He nodded.