Page 5 of Wolf

All I can do is stare.

Julia’s never been one of those frail, waiflike women, even though I tower above her. She’s got solidity, presence. That doesn’t entirely have to do with how she’s got curves in all the right places, but it doesn’t hurt, either. She’s got even a little more substance to her since the last time I saw her. Her breasts are fuller, her hips wider, her face rounder.

Her face is just how I remember her. Soft, sweet, gentle. The face of an innocent little animal that doesn’t know how cruel the world can be. It’s one of the reasons I did what I did. I didn’t want her hitching her wagon to mine when I was gonna be behind bars. She deserved more than a loser like me.

The sun must be jealous of her golden hair. The sea has to envy her eyes.

She makes me a poet with a throbbing dick, even now. I’m a sap who would use up every word in his vocabulary to describe her, then invent some new ones.

It’s too damn bad I had to break her heart.

“You,” Julia says, her voice trembling and faint. She looks up at me while her hands clench repeatedly into fists by her sides.

“Me.” My mouth cracks open in a grin as I realize I don’t know what else to say.

We stand there looking at each other, the silence burning and intense. Finally, I say, “I heard you were back.”

What I don’t say is that I’m also back. She never knew I left in the first place, by design.

Julia stirs like she was in a trance and takes a step back. I see the way her gaze dances over me, sweeping from my wind-ruffled hair down to my huge shitkicker boots. Everything in between, too. My chest straining the leather of my vest. Her gaze drops and when I see the way she deliberately skips over my crotch, my grin grows wider.

“Yes, I’m back, for now,” Julia says. She’s gotten her voice under control in a way that’s almost believable. “I’m not staying for long.”

“Well, I know that you ain’t here for vacation, baby.”

Her cheeks turn instantly crimson when I call her that. She looks down, then jerks her head back up. Her lips are pursed and I can’t help but remember how it felt to have those plump lips wrapped around my cock. The way she’s looking at me, I’m wondering if she remembers how good we were together too.

“Word’s already out that you’re back here living with your mom because you’re getting divorced. That you showed up out of nowhere in a big hurry.” I crack my knuckles and lean closer to her. Her scent is even sweeter and headier than the flowers. “You don’t run back to your hometown and hire a divorce lawyer for shits and giggles. I guess this asshole is trouble, huh? You need help? I can help.”

“Why would I want help from you?” Her tone rises, accusatory. I hold back my grimace, feeling the sting of her words. It’s a wasp sting too. Kind of amazing how something so small can pack such a punch, and it just keeps getting worse. “Do I have to remind you that you broke up with me? You didn’t want anything to do with me before. I’ve moved on from you, Wolf. Why would I ever do anything that brings you back in my life?”

Maybe because you didn’t move on from me, did you? It’s the way you’re looking at me, the way your nipples are poking out through your shirt. Part of you still belongs to me. A bigger part than you realize, baby.

A purely physical reason won’t be enough for her. Julia isn’t shallow. That’s part of why I was able to lose myself in her before, why I fell for her so hard and fast. She’s real, genuine, in a world where everyone’s wearing masks.

I set my hand on her shoulder because I just have to touch her or else I’ll go crazy. The way she feels under my palm, slight, vulnerable, solidifies my desire to get through to her some way, somehow.

“Bein’ apart from each other didn’t erase the past,” I tell her, my voice low. “I still care about you. I still don’t want no harm to come to you.”

“That’s right, considering you were the one who caused me harm. It’s called breaking a heart for a reason.” She jerks, but without fully pulling away. I still have a chance.

“I ain’t gonna argue with you about all of that. You asked me a question and I answered it.” I try another tactic. “Steel Riders is all about keeping this town safe. That means keeping the people safe. You’re back, so you’re one of the people we keep safe.”

Julia hesitates and I know I’ve almost won her over, that she’s on the brink. I still have one more card to play. Admittedly, it’s a shitty card to play, but I guess that’s what prison’s done to me.

“I know your mom is in rough shape,” I say. “Ever since your dad died. Neighbors watchin’ out for her, but now she’ll be relyin’ on you since you’re the one in her house. That’s a lot for one person to handle, a divorce and a needy parent. You’ll need help. I’m offerin’ it, free of charge. You ain’t gonna get a better deal than that.”

She’s too kind and selfless. She can forego help for herself, but she can’t turn it down for her mom.

Ruby Palmer, Julia’s mother, was never that bright of a bulb to begin with, at least not while I ever knew her. It’s not that she’s dumb, but that she’s dim. Diminished. Faded. Having the husband that she did must have worn her down and forced her into the background, made her a passenger in her own life. She never stood up to him, never argued. Without him around to make decisions for her, you might think that she’d regain some confidence, but no. The word is that she’s pretty much a ghost ship, just drifting aimless.

Julia bites her lip while she thinks it over. There’s still some chance that she turns me down and turns me away, that maybe she’s changed more than I realize.

“Fine,” she blurts out.

“Fine?” I squeeze her shoulder a little. “I ain’t that smart, baby. You got to spell it out for me what that means.”

“Stop calling me that!” Her cheeks grow even redder.