Page 25 of New Beginning

“I wasn’t sure I’d ever laugh again,” Teddy whispered. “When I was in The Drift, I thought I deserved it.”

“And now?”

Teddy sagged. “A little less. A lot less. I know you showed me the car on the wrong side of the road. It explains why the driver turned the same way as me, but maybe if I’d reacted a split second faster…”

Mikkel placed his hands gently on Teddy’s head, ushering a vision into his mind of Jon, Geo, and Piotr standing by the wreckage of the car, their arms around each other.

“They died instantly,” Mikkel said softly. “They didn’t suffer.”

“Why wasn’t I with them?”

“Because you didn’t die straight away,” Mikkel replied. “You were dead before help arrived, but even if it had come sooner, it would have been too late. Your first thought was ‘What have I done?’ That single moment of guilt was enough to pull you into The Drift. But your friends don’t blame you, Teddy. They know the truth, that it was an accident. You were unlucky.”

“Why am I here, then?”

“Because Azrael asked me to help you. I’m good at guiding lost, fractured souls.”

Teddy swallowed hard, failing to shift the lump in his throat. “Am I mended now? Am I expected to…move on?” A wave of disappointment swamped him, though he fought to keep it from his face. “You’ve done your job? Made me see it wasn’t my fault, and that’s it?”

Mikkel stayed silent.

“You said you loved me,” Teddy whispered.

“I do,” Mikkel confessed, his voice heavy. “But I can’t keep you. I don’t deserve you. I’m a demon, Teddy. You’re… you’re not. I’m allowed to live in this place only while I do the work assigned to me.”

“Who are you working for? Good or bad?” Teddy forced a bitter smile. “I don’t even need to ask, do I? Of course you’re on the side of good.”

“For the time being.”

Teddy sat upright, panic replacing his grief. “You can’t just change sides.”

“Probably not, though I did. Belial, the demon who made me, still wants to punish me, but I have powerful protectors.”

“I don’t understand.” Teddy began to cry, his breath hitching. “I don’t want to leave you.”

“You don’t want to go to the upper realms?”

“You mean heaven? No. It’ll trigger my agoraphobia. The endless light, the fear of being trapped up there, losing you? I get a choice, don’t I?” He looked up. “I choose you. My home is here.” He stared up at the expanse above them, shouting into the quiet. “Is anyone listening?”

“I am,” Mikkel whispered.

He pulled Teddy against his chest, wrapping his arms around him so tightly it felt like an anchor holding a drifting ship to the ocean floor. Teddy buried his face in the crook of Mikkel’s neck.

“If you stay,” Mikkel murmured, his voice rumbling against Teddy’s cheek, “it won’t be paradise. It’s just this house. This village. And me.”

“Good,” Teddy sniffled. “Paradise sounds exhausting anyway.”

Mikkel let out a low, breathless laugh, though his fingers still gripped Teddy’s shirt like he was afraid the light would reach down and snatch him away regardless. “You’re stubborn.”

“I’m dead,” Teddy corrected weakly, trying for a smile. “There’s a difference.” He pulled back just enough to look Mikkel in the eye, his gaze landing on the living room around them—the shadowy corners, the quiet hearth, and the glaringly empty corner by the window.

Teddy dragged a hand through his messy hair and sighed, letting out a lingering, ragged breath. “And speaking of staying here… we need to talk about the living room.”

Mikkel blinked, caught completely off guard by the shift. “The living room?”

“Yes. It’s December, Mikkel.” Teddy pointed a finger toward the empty alcove. “We’re getting a Christmas tree.”

Mikkel pinched the bridge of his nose, leaning his head back with a long groan. “Teddy, we just established that I am a creature of the abyss and you are a stray soul defying the cosmos. We don’t need a pine tree.”