Page 72 of Holly & Folly

“Yes, yes,” Archie said.

“A stirring sermon, sir.”

Archie shot her an amused look.

“Now,” Mr. Tomlinson said, slightly mollified by this characterization of something that had put her to sleep, “as for last week’s sermon…” He cleared his throat and stood more erect.

Archie’s eyes widened in horror. Did the man mean to deliver it now?

“It would be far preferable for you to hear the entire thing,” Mr. Tomlinson said, “for the topic is one that requires a great deal of care and, quite frankly, a familiarity with the Good Book that is impossible to achieve without the depth of study I devote to it, but”—he looked between them—“as I have been invited to dine with the Riess family today, I shall try my best to be concise.”

Nell pressed her lips together, seemingly to control a little quiver at the edge of her mouth, and Archie was obliged to cough.

Mr. Tomlinson took one of Nell’s hands in his, then reached for the hand in which Archie held the small paper.

Archie pulled it away and offered the other one.

The vicar frowned slightly but accepted the strange choice without comment. “I beg of you both: exercise every bit of power in your wills to repudiate the dark spirit urging you toward the violation of one of God’s most precious laws.”

Nell’s eyes widened in horror.

“Chastity,” Mr. Tomlinson said. “I speak of the law of chastity.”

Archie did not know whether to laugh, cry, or plant the vicar a facer. “Thank you, Mr. Tomlinson, for that clarification.”

“The flesh is weak,” he said simply. “As a man with experience on this topic, I will be frank with you and tell you that I do understand the, for lack of a better word, avalanche of feelings and urges the body may present us with when we find ourselves in the presence of a handsome member of the opposite sex…”

Archie could not remember his face ever being so hot as it was now—nor having such an overwhelming urge to laugh and vomit all at once.

“But”—Mr. Tomlinson released Archie’s hand to put up a finger—“we are not here to surrender to such carnal urges, are we?”

Nell shook her head, which was bowed so low Archie could not see anything but her lashes.

“Devote yourselves, I pray, to the study of the good word. Strengthen the spirit so that it might overcome the flesh’s weakness. May I trust both of you to do that?”

Archie nodded meekly and murmured assent.

The vicar retook his hand and gave it a squeeze. “I shall deliver the sermon in full next week, but I could not live with myself if I had delayed speaking with you a moment longer. I trust I am not too late already?”

“No, sir,” Nell said quickly.

“I salute you both, then. Be strong, my children. Do not give in to your carnal desires one for another, for they are to be expressed only within the bounds of marriage sanctioned by God. Then—and only then—may you enjoy them to their fullest potential.” He released their hands, bowed, then made his way to the vestry.

The quiet once the vestry door had closed was deafening.

For all his talk of chastity, Mr. Tomlinson had left them alone in the nave. He must have been hungry—a carnal urge apparently less serious than the one upon which he had just lectured them.

Nell’s gaze finally rose and met Archie’s.

They looked at one another for a moment, both of their cheeks still red.

Archie tried his very hardest not to smile, but it was no use. A laugh burst through his lips.

“How you can stand there and laugh is beyond me,” she said, though her voice shook slightly.

“What other option is there?” The paper was still in Archie’s hand, but this simply wasn’t the time for it, so he slipped it back into his pocket.

“Crawl under that pew and never again emerge?”