Page 19 of Their Fierce Little Monster

“Was anything between us real, or was I just a mission to you?” I ask, blinking away the tears for a man who I thought craved me as much as I did him. I fell for his charm and still burn all over when we’re too close, but now I can’t forget his lies.

My gaze darts to Kazak, who watches me, his green eyes brighter than before. “Every single moment. I’ve always seen you when others haven’t. But I wanted you safe, so I kept my silence.”

His hands curl into fists at his sides, and for a moment, the trusting, patient man I’ve relied on is gone. Under the layers lies the monster I didn’t know existed. His brow bunches up, a wounded expression flaring over his face.

Except, I struggle to carry pity when I’m barely holding on. I don’t want to end up drowning in memories, yet part of me yearns to remember my past, to know who I really am.

Silence falls between us for a long moment.

“I’ll leave you. Get dressed.” He’s on his feet and vanishes around the corner.

A sudden bluster of wind flutters over me, ripping at my hair and coat. It whistles around me, blowing dust into the air. And I remind myself that this isn’t the worst kind of situation and I shouldn’t let myself crumble.

The only person I can rely on is myself, which means pushing aside the ache, the lies, and somehow surviving.

On my feet, I go through the pile of clothes, realizing they’re mine, including the undergarments. He must have gone to Nilly, and I hate that she and Pell are worried now too. I quickly throw on the pants and long-sleeved button-up shirt. I keep my back to the guards in the distance when I pull my shirt aside and stare at my creamy skin over my heart and shoulder, not a hint of the dragonfly mark. I have no idea what it means, but I’m reminded of Kazak’s skull on his chest with my name beneath the ink. This whole time, he’s cared for me while keeping a devastating secret all to himself. I sigh and finish dressing.

After lacing my boots, I push my hair off my face and dry my eyes with the heel of my hand.

I’ve got this.

The black coat from Corvin lies on the ground, and before reaching for it, I stomp on it several times. It makes me feel better. Then I shove it onto the bench and plunk myself next to it.

The world feels as though it’s dropped out from under me, which makes me wonder what kind of monster I am?

I’ve never seen one of them in their original form, but my mind has conjured enough images to scare me. Will Nilly and Pell scream and run if they discover the truth about me?

From the other side of the homestead, voices reach me, more than just Corvin’s and Lian’s. Kazak is there, and I’m surprised they haven’t broken into a brawl.

I should be terrified of them—Gods, I am—but Pell always used to always tell me to fight for what I want.

And if I’m one of these monsters, then I need to stand up for myself. So I swipe the coat off the bench, and with a deep inhale, I march around the building to where the three of them stand.

Kazak is feet away, staring in the direction of the village.

Corvin and Lian twist in my direction, judging me with their raised eyebrows. So I make the decision that I’m not going to let them intimidate me. No matter how much my chest squeezes.

After all, I’m a monster too, apparently. And if they wanted me dead, I’d be bleeding out already.

“You can have your coat back,” I say, handing it over to Corvin, noting that he stands taller than Lian. “Thanks for letting me wear it.”

He grabs the garment, his hand brushing against mine. A buzz zips up my arm, and my heart jacks up to my throat.

What in the world was that? Our glazes clash, and a flare of fire spikes through his gaze. I flinch back.

He’s dusting his coat, eyeing it closely, more worried about that than the electric shock he just gave me. “Interesting how there are dusty footprints high up near the collar.” He cuts me a sharp stare.

“No idea how they got there.” I push a few strands of hair behind my ear, grinning.

Lian chortles. “Must be one of the guards, right? Stomped the shit out of it.”

Corvin studies me, and I don’t hide my smirk. After everything, I still feel as though I’m hyperventilating, plus I’m resisting the urge to curl up into a ball and sob or scream. And if Kazak insists that we’ll come out on top in this Selection test, then fine. I’ll play along for now, even if my teeth are grinding. Then I’ll work out my next steps because I still have my parents to consider, as they’ll be devastated.

But the Viscount was right. I don’t have a future in this village anymore, and I’m trying not to panic about leaving the only home I’ve known… or remember.

Lian studies me from the corner of his eye, dark hair loose and past his shoulders, wearing a lazy grin. There’s that bloodstain on his clothes at his ribs, but he’s not bothered. Akin to Corvin, this monster is too handsome for what lies inside. All sharp angles, with piercing, pale glacier-blue eyes and long lashes.

Kazak glances at us over his shoulder but keeps his distance, and I’m unsure what’s worse at this stage—the two monsters taking me to their realm or Kazak betraying me.