Page 51 of Come Take Me Now

“Oh, I don’t know.”

“It’s going to be nice out. We could go up to the vineyard and hit the pool–”

“Do you have ADHD too?” I interrupt.

He blinks at me a couple of times and cracks his neck. “Something like that.”

I close my eyes and sigh. “Enzo…”

When I open them, his dark eyes meet mine immediately. As always, I can’t distinguish his irises from his pupils. I could never know if they were dilated.

“What?”

“How much do you take?” I ask.

He swallows and puts his sandwich on his plate. “Uh, what I need.” The nonanswers are piling up as he avoids the truth. My throat contracts.

I’ll never get the whole truth from him.

“What I need is one a day. One thirty-day bottle per month.” I sigh. “I got in trouble in college with it. I was giving my boyfriend at the time pills during high-stress times. Like midterm and finals weeks. Or whenever he procrastinated on a paper. I didn’t have enough for myself, though, but I couldn’t fill the prescription early when I was running out for the month. I split them in half or skipped days. It wasn’t enough, and my grades were affected by it.”

My chest heaves at the memory of being unable to focus. The way I missed deadlines, couldn’t complete my homework, and ran more than usual. Pulled myself in multiple directions. All because of my dumb boyfriend who pressured me into sharing.

How the hell did I end up here again?

“Maybe it’s a good thing he ended it. You deserve better.” I narrow my eyes at him. “Look, I didn’t know he was taking advantage of you. We can call a spade a spade. He used you.” It’s none of Enzo’s business to comment on it, regardless of whether I brought it up.

“I didn’t tell you everything about my ex. He tried to convince me to apply to the same grad school as him, to keep his Addy hookup,” I add. It makes sense now. Why he pulled a Legally Blonde on me. “But I couldn’t live like that. I never would have ended it because, fuck, I don’t know. I don’t think I have self-esteem issues…”

“Tilly,” Enzo starts.

“No, shut up.” My hands tremble, so I shift them down to my lap under the table. “Sorry, I just knew separate grad schools was the right move for us. I, uh,” I trail off and lift my gaze to the ceiling. “I thought we could do long-distance during grad school, and by the time we graduated, he wouldn’t need Adderall anymore. And we could live happily ever after. But he took that personally, I guess.” Taking a moment makes me realize just how fast my pulse has ticked up. “When he took it, he wouldn’t sleep or eat much. Things pissed him off too easily.”

“What are you saying?” Enzo deadpans.

I take a deep breath and slowly exhale it. “Because I see similar things in you, but you’re crafty. You know how to hide things or come up with answers.”

Whoa, where did that come from?

Enzo audibly exhales. “Look, Till. I’m fine. Things have been stressful, and it helps.” I want to tell him he’s not himself, not entirely, but he deflects as usual. “Anyway, pool day? Your bikini is in the laundry room from the other day,” Enzo says, dusting crumbs from his hands.

“I should go home. Take a couple of days for space. To think,” I say.

“No, don’t do that. I need you as much as you need me.” His voice doesn’t plead, but his eyes do. There’s a softness behind them, and I’d like to think he’s hoping to change himself.

But his words irritate something deep inside me. I don’t need Enzo. On the outside, he’s handsome, magnetic, and the sex is…hot and rough, and purely unforgettable. But I’m the one leaving for grad school in a couple of months.

If he truly needs me, I might have the upper hand in our relationship for once. And I can recognize how rare it must be for him to pass up any amount of control.

Chapter Fifteen

Enzo

It’s been a week since Tilly innocently opened the cabinet and found my secrets. I know it’s a lot, but I’m one hundred pounds heavier than her. I can handle a larger dose.

I’m fine.

And she’s cool with everything. I broke her boundaries the first time we had sex, and she came right back for more, knowing damn well I wasn’t going to use protection. She smoked with me. She let it go when I brushed her off about my drug use.