Page 64 of Come Find Me Tonight

Robby sits up, making my body roll off him. “Are you fucking kidding me? Who’s the guy?”

“I’m not telling you. I’m fine. I had pepper spray,” I say. I don’t need Robby to go on a killing spree.

“I never…I didn’t know. I wouldn’t have done that if I’d known you were a victim—”

I cut him off and sit up, too. “I’m not a victim. I handled it, but you’ve made it so obvious how unsafe I still am.”

“Come here.” He pulls me into his arms, and I press my face into his warm chest. His hand smooths the back of my head. “Nothing’s going to ever happen to you. Not on my watch.” I can’t stop the tears from falling now in the safe confinement of his hold. I breathe in his musky cologne that always stays on his pillow after he leaves. “But I’ll up your security. You’re my whole world, Appa. And I’m really sorry about tonight.”

I might feel the cruel sting of betrayal from his actions this evening, but he’s my universe.

Chapter Twenty-Three

Robby

Waking up on a Saturday morning in my bed is lonely. I hardly spent Saturday mornings here anymore. I brush my hand over her side, smooth and untouched. Typically, Friday night through Sunday was spent with her, but I had to catch up on work last night and get a program fixed before it went live Monday. We still spent the evening on the phone while I worked.

The last time I saw her, I fucked up. Rook hadn’t been unleashed until a couple of days ago, and I let go too far. I knew in the moment I was taking it too far and couldn’t stop. She thought that I didn’t step in to take the reins from Rook, but it was really me who did that to her.

“So, you’re not mad at me, baby?” I asked her when she had called last night. I dreaded asking her, but we needed to address the elephant in the room.

Appa paused for a moment. “No, I can’t stay mad at you.” I breathed out in relief. “But I’ll feel better when I get my next period, ironically,” she added. She dreaded her period, and for her to look forward to it because of my actions was gutting to hear.

And, fuck, she was genuinely worried about getting pregnant. It wasn’t supposed to be like this. I wanted her to be excited about getting pregnant someday, and if it happened now, it wouldn’t be the same experience.

I tried to clear the tightness in my throat. “How likely could it be?” I asked, unsure of what I wanted to hear.

Deep down, I had to tell myself that it was for the best, and that I needed to do something about the primal desire to knock her up. The rational part of me knew that someday, we’d be ready to conceive on both our terms, and for the foreseeable future, I just looked forward to her starting the new birth control that would help her monthly pain.

“I don’t know, but I think it’s pretty unlikely.”

And my heart sank to my stomach. My fingers froze over the keyboard I was typing on. Her words confirmed exactly how I felt; I wanted her pregnant and mine forever.

She moved on to tell me about what new products she was gifted while I continued working, a pleasant distraction from work and her likely vacant womb. It never ceased to amaze me how much stuff she got regularly. Apparently, a clothing brand caught wind that she had a new ‘boyfriend’ in the picture, so they asked her for my sizes and sent their new men’s collection for fall. It was still summer, yet I had a fall wardrobe waiting for me at her house. She just had to post a few pictures of me wearing some pieces and could leave my face out of frame. That was a cool perk and not one I would normally receive.

Hmm, boyfriend.

That word was up in the air. We never defined things because we both felt like labels were overrated. She’s been the only girl on my radar for years. Sure, I had a couple of flings over the past six years, but I would never be serious with anyone if Appa was just outside my reach. We’re destined for each other, and based on how much she contacted me during our times apart, I was the only one on her mind, too. Except the past two days. She was a little quieter after the other night.

Fucking Rook.

I still posted videos as him but dropped to posting only one or two times a week, and Appa told me she stopped reading the comments. It was too much for her to know what people were saying now that I was hers. I had videos prerecorded and scheduled to post for months out, so I altered the schedule to avoid having to film any more content for a while. I wanted to kill Rook and deactivate my account. Letting Rook go wouldn’t be hard, but I wanted to wait for the right time—whenever that might be. Since I didn’t have sponsors like Appa, any revenue from Rook was purely just good side money that I saved in my rainy-day fund, and the reality is that monetization is extremely inconsistent in content creation.

At eight, I’m just finishing my morning workout when Appa sends me a good morning selfie from bed. She’s not helping my elevated heart rate, especially in that sheer pajama top that her light pink nipples peek through. I know she sent it to make my dick stir in my pants. I hiss out a deep breath to calm my pulse.

Seems back to normal.

I grab hold of my semi-hard dick from the outside of my gray sweatpants and take a picture of the outline, captioned: ‘Good morning, Apps’. She replies instantly.

Appa: *hot and sweaty emoji*

Appa: Can you come over?

Me: Let me hit the shower first. I’ll bring coffee.

Appa: Don’t forget condoms, Robert.

I wince at the full use of my name. I was only called Robert by my mother or people at work who didn’t know my nickname. So, she’s a little salty, but her body is addicted and will betray her every time.