Page 30 of The Scrooge Effect

“Then what happened?”

“Dipshit over here let go of the rope.”

“I did not let go of it,” Dash said fiercely. “It slipped from my hand.”

“You had one job!” he argued.

“Yeah, but— Look, it’s not my fault. Laura called.”

“So?”

“She’s uh… Well, we’re trying for another baby.”

Eli’s anger suddenly fled, and he grabbed Dash in a hug, slapping his back. “Aw, man, that’s great!”

“Yeah, she sent me this dirty picture, and when it came through… there went the rope,” he laughed.

“No shit. I would have done the same thing.”

I pressed my fingers to the sides of my head, trying to keep my head from exploding.

“She has on this red thing with a zipper and sexy boots⁠—”

“That sleigh probably cost more than your life!” I shouted, interrupting the description of what his wife was wearing. “I’m so fucking happy for you and the fact that you’re about to have sex, but you dropped a decoration that will probably cost me at least five hundred dollars to replace! And I didn’t even want the fucking thing!”

I spun and looked at the Christmas shit all over my yard and lost it. “I didn’t want any of this! Do you see this reindeer?” I asked, running over to the closest one. “A hundred and fifty dollars for this. And that’s not even to make it light up! And what about when one bulb goes out? I bet they all go out, and then I’ll have to spend probably twenty dollars for just one single bulb because they’re probably specially made for this decoration in Taiwan, and it’ll take two weeks to get here!

“And in the meantime, I’ll have to listen to Harper bitch about the fact that the whole thing has gone dark because of one fucking bulb! But none of that matters because you just dropped the sleigh and probably smashed it to bits. Bits! And I’m gonna have to go back and beg and plead for them to not bankrupt me over this one fucking decoration!”

My chest was heaving as I stared all of them down, begging one of them to say something fucking stupid so I could beat their asses. But instead of giving me the fight I so desperately needed, they ducked their heads, and IRIS let out a low whistle behind me.

I spun around, and my stomach bottomed out. Harper stood behind me with a tray of what looked like cocoa for all of us. And that smile that had just been on her face a half hour ago was now replaced with tears she was desperately trying to hold in.

Just like when I lost it on her when I found out she was pregnant.

“Harper—” I started, but I couldn’t find the words to make this right.

And the longer I stood there, the clearer it became that not only had I royally screwed up, but I’d broken her heart.

Again.

She turned on her heel and trudged back to the house, her shoulders slumped with a sadness I could feel from here.

“Way to go, man,” IRIS said, walking over to clap me on the shoulder. “I’d say you not only just destroyed Christmas, you also fucked up the rest of her year. You didn’t plan on getting laid anytime soon, did you?”

6

HARPER

I very carefully folded the last of Edu’s laundry for his trip and packed it in his bag.

No, I didn’t particularly want to help him out in any way right now, but I needed to do something so I didn’t scream. I guess deep down I knew that Edu would not be thrilled about the decorations. But I lied to myself and said everything would be fine.

Why?

Because I was eternally optimistic.

It was an affliction I’d never gotten over, not even after all the crap that happened with my parents. I had Oliver, and that was all I really needed. But now I had a family of my own, and things had been going so well the past few years. Eden was finally coming out of her shell, Gracie and James were constant fun, and Edu was handling everything so well.