Page 22 of The Scrooge Effect

EDU

Christmas threw up in my house.

Seriously, there were gnomes and elves all over the place. Garland was strung from the oddest places, making it impossible to turn on the fan without ripping down the concoction draped from one corner of the room to the next.

“What the hell is this?” I muttered as I turned a long box on the side to stare at the picture. “Black Santa? Harper!”

She came bouncing out of the kitchen, a peppy smile on her face. “Hey, baby!”

“What the hell is this?”

“What?” Skipping over to me, she pressed a kiss to my cheek and looked in the direction of where I was pointing. “Oh! It’s a Santa who climbs a ladder. We could put it against the tree or the wall next to it!”

“It’s black.”

“Yeah, I know that,” she chuckled.

“You’re white.”

“And you’re black. What’s your point?”

I pinched the bridge of my nose, trying to figure out what she was doing here. “Why did you get it?”

“Because it was the only one left, silly. Seriously, does it really matter? I think it’s funny. Do you want to come help me with the tree?”

Groaning, I dragged my ass into the other room and stared at the massive tree spread out around the room.

“Uh…what is this?”

“It’s our new tree.”

“I can see that, but why is it so big? Will it even fit in here?”

“It’s a nine-foot tree!” she said excitedly. “It’s going to be amazing. And it’s so wide!”

“What was wrong with the tree we used last year?”

“The Charlie Brown tree?” she snorted. “I hardly think that’s big enough to use this year. Baby, we have kids. They need to have a big tree to stare at in awe!”

“Yeah, but…” It was like Christmas puked in here. There wasn’t a single place to step that wasn’t covered in branches. “What happened to those new ones where you just connect them and it’s done?”

“What’s the fun in that? No, I want to have an old-fashioned Christmas like I used to with my grandparents. You know, before everyone spent all day on their devices. We’re going to bake cookies and drink eggnog while we listen to music, and it’s going to be so amazing!”

I scrubbed a hand over my face, trying not to have a massive panic attack at the amount of Christmas crap around here. I’d just have to take it one step at a time. That was really the only way to deal with this.

“Okay, let’s just get this off the floor so I can watch the game tonight. We have an hour.”

Clucking her tongue at me, she smiled sweetly. “There will be no game tonight. You’ve been promising me since Thanksgiving that we’ll put up the tree, and now we’re two and a half weeks from Christmas, and there’s still no tree. No game until this is up and the house is decorated.”

Groaning, I got to work, but the moment the music came on, I lost it.

“No! We are not listening to this crap. You make me listen to it all day on Christmas, but I draw the line right here, right now!”

Like I could actually tell her what to do. She batted those eyes at me and I was lost. But this was different. The last thing I wanted was jolly music playing all fucking night.

“Harper,” I warned.

“Sorry, but my house, my rules.”