Page 12 of The Scrooge Effect

She swallowed hard. “But…you said you stop people from going into houses and doing bad things. Isn’t spying on people bad?”

“Well—”

“You said that’s breaking and entering. Should we call the police?”

“No, you see⁠—”

“Are they hiding under my bed?” she shrieked.

Panicking, I tried to shush her as she started a little bit of a commotion with the kids around us.

“No, see, that’s not what they’re doing. They’re good spies for Santa.”

“But you said they’re always watching me!”

“Daddy,” another girl cried. “I don’t want people in my room watching me!”

“No one’s in the room with you, peanut,” he tried to calm her, but turned a glare on me.

“It’s not that kind of spying. See, it’s more like they have cameras watching you. They’re not physically there!”

Eden’s eyes filled with tears as I tried to talk myself out of that one. Clearly, I was failing.

“Sweetie,” Harper said, smiling as she got down on her knees. “What Edu is trying to say is that he’s always watching. He knows when you sneak cookies. Santa doesn’t spy on people, but he does have elves that get reports from Edu on what you’re doing. There are no people in our house other than us.”

Her tears stopped, and the most evil, hateful look filled her face. “You’re tattling on me to Santa?”

Harper stood, grinning at me. “See? Santa’s no longer evil.”

“No, just me.”

“Well, maybe you should watch what you say.”

Keeping my voice low, I hissed, “We’re standing in a line a mile long to talk to an imaginary person about presents we buy them! Don’t you think we’ve passed the point of ridiculousness?”

“On the contrary, I think this is just what you need to get in the Christmas spirit.”

I snorted at that. “Fat chance. If you wanted to make me like Christmas, the last thing you should have done was take me to a mall full of stupid people who are all trying to convince their kids to be good for the one day a year they get a massive amount of gifts for no reason other than someone declared it a national holiday.”

“Hey, buddy, you wanna chill out? It’s Christmas.”

I glared at the overweight man in front of me. He looked so fancy in his wool coat and fedora, but none of that swayed me.

“Don’t you get tired of this? The tree, the lights, hauling all the decorations out of the garage each year to put up for a whole freaking week?”

“Actually, my wife has me put them up in October.”

“See! And you like that?”

“Well, I don’t like doing the work, but it makes the kids happy,” he smiled down at them.

“But what about you? Don’t you want to throw up your hands and walk away from it all?”

“Edu!” Harper gasped.

“No,” the man frowned at me. “I like Christmas. Yes, it’s chaotic and a lot of work, but…I love watching my kids open presents on Christmas morning, and sitting around the table with everyone for dinner. All the sweaters and the music…it’s a blessing.”

“A blessing,” I repeated. Clearly, this man had gone insane.