Page 8 of Pretty Boy

“I did some stupid shit with Preston’s kids yesterday, but I worked through it with Spencer and Ezra, and I promised them I would talk to my therapist about it at my next appointment. We really don’t need to hash this out, Jaxon.”

Truth be told, I didn’t want him to know. If Spencer, Ezra, and I ever wanted kids in the future, how could I expect to have Jaxon’s support in that if he knew how reckless I’d been with Axel and Felix?

The mere thought of him disapproving of me made me want to puke up the donuts I’d just eaten.

“You’re looking a little green, so I think we do.” Jaxon closed his eyes once more, looking the perfect picture of calm and relaxed. “No pressure though.”

No pressure though. What a load of shit.

“Gee, fucking thanks,” I muttered.

Crossing my arms over my chest, I stared out at the backyard, wondering how long I had to wait before Jaxon grew tired and left me to my own vices. He was usually pretty big on the ‘come to me when you’re ready’ thing, so I didn’t know why he was pushing me so hard today to open up.

I wished everyone would just fucking drop it.

“Jesus fuck, you’re really not leaving, are you?” I demanded about fifteen minutes later. I’d really tried waiting him out, but fuck, he was not budging.

“Nope,” Jaxon replied, popping the P. He never once opened his eyes. “If Spencer won’t talk to me about it, then whatever happened is pretty serious. So, I’m waiting, and I’m prepared to wait however long it takes.”

“Fine,” I sighed, my gut twisting. Swallowing thickly, I muttered, “I fed Axel and Felix food that upset their stomachs, and I sped with them in the car. And when Preston said something about it, I freaked out, thinking I wasn’t safe for the kids, and it led to this whole bullshit spiral about being like my mom.”

Jaxon still never opened his eyes. He didn’t even budge—not even a twitch of his lips. I got nothing.

“Want to know something I did once?” he finally asked instead of doing his usual therapy shit that he’d gotten damn good at since I’d been attacked several years ago.

“What?” I grumbled.

“Penelope was working later than usual one day. Spencer was about six, I think. We’d just bought a new golf cart, and Spencer had been begging me to ride it, but Penelope wanted to do the first ride as a family. And usually, that’d have been fine. But Spencer had a bad day at school, and I wanted to cheer him up, so we went riding.”

Jaxon shifted a little, like he was getting more comfortable. “The thing to know about golf carts like that is that they’re easy to flip. But when I nearly missed a turn and took it too sharp and Spencer laughed for the first time all day, I forgot about how dangerous it was to do that. I just wanted to hear him laugh and see him smile, so I kept doing it. And then, I tried doing donuts.”

My eyes widened a fraction. Jaxon had never seemed like the kind of parent to make that kind of irresponsible decision, yet he was sitting here telling me he had. That he’d made dumb choices that, if I were to guess correctly with the way this story was going, had dumb consequences.

“We flipped. Both of us woke up in the hospital with major concussions. I had a broken wrist and a couple of fractured ribs. Spencer was okay apart from his concussion, for which I was extremely lucky. But you want to know something?”

“What?” I asked, my throat feeling a little thick.

“Penelope fucking raged at me. She was furious that I not only landed both me and Spencer in the hospital, but that I’d been reckless and stupid. But Spencer was still happy. He was scratched and bruised up, and he had a headache from hell, but he was still giggling as he remembered that ride. So… yeah, I made a dumb fucking decision. A really dumb decision. But that smile and his laugh?” Jaxon smiled a little as he remembered. “Fucking worth it.”

He looked at me then. “So, take it from me—you live and you learn, Logan. But no one got hurt. The food you gave them was easily solved with some medicine. And I’m sure those kids had a blast when you were speeding.”

They had. Both of them, even Felix, who was usually quiet and kept to himself, had been squealing in the backseat.

“They did,” I said quietly. “I didn’t even go too much over the speed limit—only ten.” Which Jaxon knew was rare for me. I usually drove everywhere like I was in my own personal Nascar race.

Jaxon nodded. “Exactly as I thought. Do you think I’m a terrible parent? Do you think I’m anything like your mother?”

“Of fucking course not,” I snapped. Jaxon was the best fucking parental figure I’d ever known.

“Then don’t think that of yourself either, Logan. You’re not her. Personally, I don’t think you could ever be her.”

I scrubbed a hand down my face, nodding, my throat thick. Spencer and Ezra had helped a lot last night, talking through it all with me and cementing in my brain that I was not my mother. But hearing Jaxon, the man I fucking idolized, had made mistakes, too? And knowing Spencer had turned out fucking incredible still?

That helped more than I wanted to admit.

Jaxon stood, like he knew our heart to heart was over. “I don’t know anything about cars, but come show me what you’re working on.”

I pushed to my feet, thankful all that was over. “It’ll probably bore you to death.”