Page 83 of A Violet Obsession

“No.” She lifts her chin, throwing my own words back at me. “Don’t act like it’s fine when it’s not. We don’t have to talk about it, but I know it still hurts.”

Her hands slide to my back, and she presses her cheek to my chest. I close my eyes against the sweetness of it. As painful as it is to remember, after sharing it with Lily, it feels like the load that’s been weighing on me for the last three years is lifting.

I grimace. “Whoever you heard that from sounds like he reads too many inspirational quotes on social media.”

She nods against me, saying solemnly. “He has a real internet problem.”

I snort and shake my head, before resting my cheek against the top of her curls. Holding her smooths cracks I didn’t know I still carried.

“You never let yourself fall in love again,” she asks softly, after several minutes of us standing silently.

“No.”

“Because of her?”

“Because of me.”

She leans back to look me in the eyes.

“Langdon died because I fell in love with a ghost.” I take her hands and lace our fingers together, because apparently touching her has become as essential as oxygen.

“I didn’t trust myself not to make the same mistake again.”

I don’t tell her the rest—that for years the only thing I allowed myself to want was a warm, willing body with no strings. That I made sure no woman could ever get close enough to weaponize my feelings.

Until Lily.

I suspect the damage she could do to me would be irrevocable. But I’ll happily let her destroy me if it means getting a chance to be with her.

Her chin lifts. “Do you think I’m a mistake?”

My eyes meet hers, and I see the years of pain clouding her light. “No, Lily. You aren’t a mistake. You’re inevitable.”

I don’t know when the moment happened, where she became the sun around which I orbited. Whatever this started as—obligation, nostalgia, attraction—it’s become something deeper. I can never let her go. A certainty I feel in my soul.

I grip her chin with gentle firmness, tilting her face up so there’s no escape from my gaze. “Do you trust me, Lily?”

Her pupils dilate at whatever she sees on my face. She licks her lips slowly. “Yes.”

“Take off your clothes.”

She holds my stare, as her fingers hook into the waistband of her leggings and she pushes them down her legs, kicking them and her panties aside. Then she grips the hem of my oversized hoodie and peels it off, followed by the shirt underneath. Her breasts sway slightly when she unhooks her bra, dangling it by one finger before letting it fall to the floor. A delicate scatter of freckles dances above her tight, rosy nipples and trails down over the soft swell of her stomach, like stars I want to map with my tongue.

She’s breathtaking. Mine.

“Lie down,” I command, voice rough.

She obeys without hesitation, lowering herself onto the mattress I dragged in from the other room. The flames cast shifting light across her bare skin as she settles back, watching me with parted lips. I follow her down, covering her body with mine, and kiss her like a man possessed.

My need for her is more than lust. The feelings I have for her are so intense they’re almost painful. Her acceptance of my darkest parts, her refusal to see me as a villain—I don’t deserve the light she’s brought into my life, but I’m selfish enough to take it. And to let her burn every shadow away, even if it means losing myself in her completely.

My hands cup her breasts, thumbs brushing over her nipples. I lower my head and take one into my mouth, sucking deeply. Lily arches off the mattress with a broken moan, her hands threading through my hair to hold me closer.

I don’t plan on rushing. Part of me knows that our time away from the world is limited. But I don’t want to think of the mess waiting for us. I want to worship Lily’s lush body until the rest of the world no longer exists.

I kiss a slow path down her sternum, tracing every single freckle with the tip of my tongue. Then lower still. I tease a path across the gentle rise of her stomach, settling between her spread thighs. I press open-mouthed kisses down to her knees and back, then spread her with my thumbs until she’s bared to me. “Has anyone ever tasted you here, Lily?” I ask, my breath ghosting over her slick heat.

She moans, head tossing against the mattress, and shakes her head. “Never.”